Tag: quitters

Allen West Finally Surrenders, Kills Political Comedy Forever

Let's "open the kimono" here for a minute: Your Wonkette does not want this great nation of ours to be run by perverts and crazies; but, in another sense, your Wonkette needs this to be the case, because pervert/crazy...

Let’s Speculate Wildly About A California Congressman’s Abrupt Resignation!

Oh man, if there's one thing that can only mean good things, it's when a longtime Congressman who was already going to quit at the end of the term -- which is, like, only five months away -- decides,...

Santorum Endorses Romney In Sad, Rambling Late-Night Email

Oh, man, when you get a 16-paragraph email from someone at 11 pm you know that only good things are in it, right? Generally these things are some variation of "I DON'T NEED YOU, WHY DON'T YOU LOVE...

Basket Case Quitter Sarah Palin Cancels Her Own Tea Party Headliner

What has Sarah Palin quit today? Her own headline act at Iowa's big Tea Party circus this Saturday. And how is this different than everything else this mentally unstable con-artist has quit since losing her one and only national...

Smiling Jerk Rahm Emanuel Is So Happy To Be Out of The White House

Remember that funny, foul-mouthed creature who used to lurk around Barack Obama, screaming things? Well he left Washington, D.C. because he heard the Earthquake of 2011 was a-comin' and wanted to be in Chicago, where the ground does not...

Sarah Palin Follows Comedy Rules And Quits Bus Tour Halfway Through

Probably NO HUMAN ON EARTH SAW THIS COMING but just as God or common sense or Mohammed long ago wrote in stone that which must come to pass, Sarah Palin has decided to quit her dumb summer vacation RV...

Remaining Gingrich Staffers Have Also Quit Now, Too

This "Everybody is quitting the Newt Gingrich campaign" headline is pooping all over our Google Reader again, which, isn't this a few weeks old already? Oh, uh, this time it is Newt's campaign fundraising team jumping ship to go...

Quitter Bristol Palin Moving Out of Bland Arizona Mansion

Professional quitters the Palin clan are working on their resume again: Bristol Palin is moving out of her Phoenix narcomansion only six months after she paid $172,000 in cash for it. She's renting it out for $1,400 a month...

WaPo Seeks Army Of Insane Volunteers To Spend All Weekend Reading Palin Email Dump

Bland suburban daily the Washington Post is asking for one hundred volunteers who want to stab forks into their eyes for a few days and help scour 24,000 Sarah Palin emails to prevent Chris Cilizza from developing a brain...

Scared-of-Elections Guy Evan Bayh Says Democrats Will Lose Election

Evan Bayh wants everyone to know that Democrats are going to lose a lot of seats in the midterms this year. "I think it's of comparable magnitude," he said, referring to party losses in 1980 and 1994. One of...

Robert Gates Sets Timetable For Withdrawal From Defense Sec’y Job

Bob Gates used to be a good Republican who didn't go in for this namby-pamby "Let's announce to our enemies the date when we will stop bombing them" bull-hockey, but two years as a member of Obama's Politburo have...

WEIGEL RESIGNS IN DISGUST: OK, we do not know if he is disgusted, but we sure are! The Washington Post's great experiment in assigning someone who knows what he's doing and works hard to cover a political movement...

Tim James Finally Concedes NOOOOO WHY GOD WHY

Three whole weeks ago, star of stage and screen Tim James submitted himself to the approval of the Alabama Republican electorate, along with two other, lesser candidates. Did it make sense to them? Nobody could tell! ...

Peter Orszag Quitting White House; First Obama Administration Bigshot To Leave

Whoa looks like Rahm Emanuel can't even quit first. This from the Washington Post tonight: "White House budget director Peter Orszag has decided to leave the Obama administration, likely in the next few weeks, a Democrat familiar with his...

Rahm Emanuel To Quit White House, Says Tory Newspaper

Lobsterback broadsheet The Telegraph published a very suspicious story on Sunday suggesting White House Chicago Thug Rahm Emanuel will quit his Chief of Staff job later this year, probably after the midterms, because mean Barack Obama will not let...

Heroic Ex-Wonkette Sugar Mama Says Thing Based In Reality

Campbell Brown, whose enormous face we splattered all over this site in exchange for money, what, two-three years ago now?, is quitting her CNN show! This is largely because of her failure to defeat O'Reilly, Olbermann, and Nancy Grace...