Tag: queen elizabeth

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Queen Elizabeth Will See Donald Trump IN HELL

Sounds like President Dumbass might not get that state visit with the Queen!

Here Are 50 Million New Hot-Ass Pictures Of Justin Trudeau, Because It Is A Day

He's been sexxxy a WHOLE LOT the past few weeks.

TrumpCare To Save You From Your Miserable Life! Your Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 4, 2017

The House tries to vote on Health care, Ben Carson tours a poor house, and REXXON is clearing out Foggy Bottom. Your morning news brief!

Trump Denies Demanding Golden Carriage/Shower From Queen Elizabeth. Who You Gonna Believe?

'Trump administration denies...' is our most useful keyboard macro.
This is what it would look like if Joe and Mika were young parents of a stolen Wonkette Baby.

Joe Scarborough Has Finally Stopped Crying

What a relief!

Boris Johnson, Noted Lout And Buffoon, Is England’s Next Top Model

As Americans we don't really care what the rest of Not-America does because they have to do whatever we tell them or risk receiving our freedom bullets. However, some foreign policy analysts (nerds with thick glasses, funny accents and...

Hot-Ass Justin Trudeau Can’t Stop Making Sexxx Eyes At Foreign Princes

Hey it's Wednesday, wanna fawn all over Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for no goddamn reason? Good, we do too. <a href="http://wonkette.com/599553/worlds-sexiest-north-american-leaders-break-entire-internet-with-sexiness"></a>So, the Invictus Games are this really nice thing created by sexxxy Prince Harry, where wounded veterans from all...
Not like any clock she's ever seen.

Sarah Palin Can See Clocks From Her House, And Ahmed’s Thing Is NOT A Clock

A new pattern is emerging, kind readers. Whereas it used to be that Sarah Palin would endeavor to say the First Stupid in any national conversation, she's increasingly letting her spawn Bristol do that, on her "blog." It happened...
I got it off the toilet seat

Nerdy Teens Invent ‘Smart Condom’ To Detect STDs, Never Getting Laid Now

Science Nice Time, kind of! Three English teenagers have invented -- well, at least done the groundwork for -- a condom that changes color when it comes into contact with common sexually transmitted diseases. Cool! Also, Ick! But Cool! Students...
I laugh at you idiots! So much!

Republican Senator So Sick Of Everyone Saying Obamacare’s Doing Just GREAT, Actually

It sure sucks having to hear about how President Obama's dumb health care reform is doing swell, actually, huh? It's covering more people than expected, it's cheaper than expected, it's saving the country more money than expected -- and...

INPEACH! Obama Chewed Gum At D-Day Ceremony, Wingnuts Outraged

We sure do miss our Newsmax feed, because we almost missed this important Poutrage Update: Barack Obama, the alleged Leader of the Free World, insulted the memory of all the hallowed dead of the Normandy Invasion on Friday when...

No, Pope Not Actually Indicted For Child Trafficking, Crimes Against Humanity, Or Fishing Without A License

Those of you with excitable friends who are prone to forwarding stuff from the interwebs may want to keep this handy for debunking purposes: No, actually, Pope Francis hasn't been charged with child trafficking by an international court. (And...

On Her Majesty’s Secret Snack Bowl: Police Were Ordered To Leave Elizabeth’s Nuts Untouched

Here's a weird little tidbit that's emerged from the phone hacking trial for executives from Rupert Murdoch's News of the World tabloid: For reasons not made the least bit clear in this BBC story, on Thursday, the jury was...

A Weary America Rejoices, For A Royal Baby Is Born Unto Us

The world literally came to a stop this afternoon, ceasing to rotate on its axis as the entire universe and multiverses came to a breathless standstill to await the birth of the GREATEST ROYAL BABY IN INTERNET HISTORY. With...

Free Republic Geniuses Would Like To Be Part Of England Again, To Escape Socialism

Oh look, some super-brilliant science nerd at the Free Republic has written an Open Letter to the Queen of Englande! It is full of incontrovertible facts, like how we must rejoin the British Empire, because Barack Obama is socialist....