December 7, 2013
The world literally came to a stop this afternoon, ceasing to rotate on its axis as the entire universe and multiverses came to a breathless standstill to await the birth of the GREATEST ROYAL BABY IN INTERNET HISTORY. With a fanfare of trumpets and in labor pangs of ethereal beauty, America’s Princess, Kate Middleton, the [...]
Is everyone super excited about the “Diamond Jubilee” of America’s queen of hearts, Elizabeth II? They should be, after her exciting performance at yesterday’s American football spectacular “half time.” Here is the well-known story we all recite to ourselves each night before flogging our own flesh with a thorny wooden portrait of Our Queen: Sixty [...]
Ten years ago, the Culture of Life was going strong. How do we know this? Arnold Schwarzenegger got one of his maids pregnant a decade ago, and she went through with it, having the kid and pretending her husband was the father. Yay! We’re so happy for that maid! Wasn’t it great that she Chose [...]
Did you know that Australia, the America of the Antiopdes, still squirms under the brutal heel of Elizabeth of Windsor? It is true! The Aussies came close to throwing off her yoke a decade ago, but she used her lizard-person mind powers on them somehow and they slavishly voted to keep sending her forty tons [...]
Nobody educated denies that the 9/11 attacks were planned at the highest levels at Buckingham Palace. It’s well-known that the Teutonic clan that has run the once-great British nation ever since the bloodless coup of the “Hanoverian Succession” (with the Aryan bloodline reinforced by Queen Victoria’s marriage to a Germanic princeling) will stop at nothing [...]
Texas’ 22nd district gave America its greatest statesman, Tom DeLay, and then seven glorious weeks of Shelly Dracula Cunt, but since then its representatives have been a little on the dull side. How are we going to fix this? Local Democrats are doing their part; they nominated a lady who is a Lyndon LaRouche devotee, [...]
Wonkette operative Dan T. was just walking to work at the Capitol (where he is the Queen’s Witchfinder General) when, from a very great and apparently safe distance, he took this picture with his “smart phone.” It shows some LaRouchites protesting Hitler (Queen Elizabeth, third from left, wearing rabbit ears) and promoting a Webisode and [...]
Here is the scene in dreadful, leaderless Englandtowne right now, where posh-ponce David Cameron is on his way to the Palace to perform his latest rabbit-goblin dance for the delight of royal lady Queen Elizabeth, of the German-British ruling family.
Self-loathing Labour monster Gordon Brown is literally in a fancy car right now on his way to the Queen’s Palace to tell the noble monarch Elizabeth Windsor that he would be honored to no longer have a job running Her Majesty’s Government, immediately, if she would be so gracious & comely as to accept his [...]
David Cameron is just like us! He dressed like a forest animal for a school play … along with Prince Edward. And that’s how Young Davey first met his royal highness and actual cousin, Queen Elizabeth II. (Posh Davey is the illegitimate-royal great-great-great-great-great grandchild of King William IV, while Cameron’s wife is the direct descendant [...]
Here is something pretty gross: Queen Elizabeth II — holy emperor of the Kingdom of the Picts, Scots, Irish, French and the Ancient Chinamen — has been the Monarch of this bog-land since Harry S. Truman was president. And she’s STILL alive, which is the only requirement for continuing one’s queening career.
The Obamas have a terrible relationship with the Queen of England, Elizabeth Windsor. This is known. When they visited the Queen a few months ago, Barack Obama gave Her Majesty a “Touch iPod” loaded with hardcore interracial pornography films and swine flu. Michelle Obama, meanwhile, grabbed the Queen’s boobs for at least 30 minutes. The [...]
WHY IS THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TAKING OUR TEA BAGS? “The lower classes and uneducated swarms seem to be the primary target for this ‘collection by coercion,’ in which the Senate and House of Representatives have dug in their heels and embarked on a crusade to take all the tea bags from our most humble citizens.” [...]
THESE OBAMAS MUST RESPECT OUR QUEEN: “The president’s presumptuousness most certainly did not stop with the poison gift of the I-pod. Instead of holding tape recordings of quality music from Great Britain, rumor has it this device was filled with 30 gigabytes (or, a half hour’s worth) of sexual American music by the likes of [...]