Wonkette

Democratic operatives are surprisingly not scared shitless about Obama’s upcoming vacation to Hawaii, despite the party’s well known reputation as shirtless pussies who are always being gay on beaches: “In a piece of footage endlessly recycled to mock his supposed elitism and even foreignness, Mr Kerry was caught on camera windsurfing off Massachusetts. Since Mr Obama is taking his holiday at a private beach house in Hawaii, surrounded by the secret service, campaign officials worry less about his exposure to the paparazzi. Besides, they say, most Americans will be tuned into the Olympics.” The Olympics? Ha! You silly campaign officials, letting down your guard. [Financial Times]

After an exciting day of voting, the Senate has voted in favor of the new FISA surveillance bill, 69-28, and George Bush will now sign it into law in his secret masturbatorium. MORE »

Everybody knows that pretty little girls always get their feelings hurt, so it’s no surprise that John Edwards went from table to table at a Hollywood fundraiser telling everybody how the Clintons didn’t call to say they were bummed for Elizabeth — yet all the other presidential candidates (or at least the Democratic candidates) did call with good wishes. MORE »

* Bi-partisan “Walter Reed Study Group” soon to be as ignored as the limbless soldiers themselves. [WP, NYT, WSJ, LAT]
* “One conservative lawmaker, who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of angering Democratic leaders, dismissed Murtha’s approach as ‘too cute by half.’” [WP]
* President Bush heads to South America to bring a message that “We care,” as well as, “I ain’t fucking ending up like Slobodan.” [WP, NYT]
* Hillary Clinton: “the cliché of contemporary politics .” [NYT]
* Dick Cheney is handing out lollipops and venous thrombosis, and he’s all out of lollipops. [NYT]
* Will Heather Wilson try to get people fired from the House Ethics Committee for failing to investigate her? [WP]
* Air travel to get even more depressing without a lithium laptop battery to lick. [USAT]