PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES
Thursday, November 13th, 2008
This is your puppy, America. It belongs to you. [White House Puppy]
This is your puppy, America. It belongs to you. [White House Puppy]
PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES
Thursday, November 13th, 2008
Obamas Will Adopt Precious Rescue Puppy, Destroy American Businesses
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
Oh look at those Obamas once again “doing the right thing” and being decent or whatever. The terrorist cell “PETA” just sent us this email, claiming that “Obama and his wife, Michelle, have announced that they will adopt a rescued dog for their daughters instead of patronizing a pet store or breeder.” Oh la dee dah, President Hopes-a-lot, going to save an innocent puppy (probably a “street organizer” single-parent puppy) from euthanasia while shutting down Joe the Breeder’s puppy mill, HENGHH? MORE »
Oh look at those Obamas once again “doing the right thing” and being decent or whatever. The terrorist cell “PETA” just sent us this email, claiming that “Obama and his wife, Michelle, have announced that they will adopt a rescued dog for their daughters instead of patronizing a pet store or breeder.” Oh la dee dah, President Hopes-a-lot, going to save an innocent puppy (probably a “street organizer” single-parent puppy) from euthanasia while shutting down Joe the Breeder’s puppy mill, HENGHH? MORE »
Compare And Contrast: New McCain And Obama Attack Ads
Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
Both presidential candidates released some angry shit-talking commercials today. Apparently Barack Obama promises your family fewer jobs, while John McCain lives in a tiny black-and-white television with George Bush. The question is, which candidate more stealthily removed the other candidate’s balls and replaced them with harmless Neuticles? View and assess, after the jump. MORE »
Both presidential candidates released some angry shit-talking commercials today. Apparently Barack Obama promises your family fewer jobs, while John McCain lives in a tiny black-and-white television with George Bush. The question is, which candidate more stealthily removed the other candidate’s balls and replaced them with harmless Neuticles? View and assess, after the jump. MORE »
Marines To Investigate Cruel Puppy Death
Thursday, March 6th, 2008
A few days ago, a shocking viral video showed a puppy being thrown off a cliff in Iraq by some Marine. We still think it was a stuffed animal. Either way, the humans continue to fight in Iraq, but the Marines will launch a full-scale investigation into this matter of the puppy. MORE »
A few days ago, a shocking viral video showed a puppy being thrown off a cliff in Iraq by some Marine. We still think it was a stuffed animal. Either way, the humans continue to fight in Iraq, but the Marines will launch a full-scale investigation into this matter of the puppy. MORE »
When Animals Attack DC Fundraisers
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008
Wonkette’s Liz Glover took her various Video and Polaroid cameras to the “Sugar & Champagne” fundraiser for the Washington Humane Society. And what exactly happens when animals attack people in a sugar/champagne frenzy? Watch the video to find out! [Sugar & Champagne Affair]
Wonkette’s Liz Glover took her various Video and Polaroid cameras to the “Sugar & Champagne” fundraiser for the Washington Humane Society. And what exactly happens when animals attack people in a sugar/champagne frenzy? Watch the video to find out! [Sugar & Champagne Affair]
2nd Best Campaign Mailer of the Year: Where’s My Dog?
Friday, November 3rd, 2006
It is the easiest (and most overused) “attack ad” joke there is: “My opponent hates puppies.” In one Pennsylvania race, yet another satirical trope has been bested by reality. Say hello to Larry Glick, Democratic candidate for the State House:
As the Philly Inquirer reported today, this mailer was sent out to voters across Bucks County by the Pennsylvania Republican State Committee. And we cannot for the life of us decide if we like it better than the sex offender one. The details of the ruthless dog murder are on the back.
There is no possible additional joke to be made. RIP Wrango the Dog. MORE »
It is the easiest (and most overused) “attack ad” joke there is: “My opponent hates puppies.” In one Pennsylvania race, yet another satirical trope has been bested by reality. Say hello to Larry Glick, Democratic candidate for the State House:
As the Philly Inquirer reported today, this mailer was sent out to voters across Bucks County by the Pennsylvania Republican State Committee. And we cannot for the life of us decide if we like it better than the sex offender one. The details of the ruthless dog murder are on the back.
There is no possible additional joke to be made. RIP Wrango the Dog. MORE »
Ask a Hill Staffer: Hagiographic Content
Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
Our good friend the Anonymous Hill Staffer seems to be in a bit of a bad mood this week, but fear not — he did let us know that with Spring springing (or so we hear, we haven’t left our apartment during daylight hours for a week at least), the skintern season shall soon begin in earnest. So his answers to next week’s questions ought to be a bit more cheerful, if also a bit distracted.
This week, a very civic-minded edition covers working for Congress, sex again, and a wonderful idea for the Reagan memorial.
Our good friend the Anonymous Hill Staffer seems to be in a bit of a bad mood this week, but fear not — he did let us know that with Spring springing (or so we hear, we haven’t left our apartment during daylight hours for a week at least), the skintern season shall soon begin in earnest. So his answers to next week’s questions ought to be a bit more cheerful, if also a bit distracted.
This week, a very civic-minded edition covers working for Congress, sex again, and a wonderful idea for the Reagan memorial.
BUTTERSTICK HAS BROKEN THE CUTE BARRIER
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
We apologize for our long absence today. We had to lie down for a few hours after witnessing THE CUTEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED ON THIS EARTH. We’re serious. Baby Jesus surrounded by kittens on rollerskates singing “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth,” that might come close. A puppy riding a pony in a cowboy outfit while pretending to rob a bank? Eh. We have seen The Stick in a bowl. Observe:
We apologize for our long absence today. We had to lie down for a few hours after witnessing THE CUTEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED ON THIS EARTH. We’re serious. Baby Jesus surrounded by kittens on rollerskates singing “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth,” that might come close. A puppy riding a pony in a cowboy outfit while pretending to rob a bank? Eh. We have seen The Stick in a bowl. Observe:
