Tag: puppies

Go, corgis, go!

It’s National Dog Day. Pretty Sure We Could All Use Some Doggies About Now

We were getting all ready to end this perfectly shitty news day by sharing photos of the new panda babies at the National Zoo, but even that story went all to hell this afternoon, with the death of one...
And that's what Hearth's Warming Eve is all about, Zombie Brown

Derp Roundup: Zombie Baby Jesus Edition

It's a special Ho-Ho-Huh? Edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the stories that don't quite deserve their very own posts, but are too stupid to ignore altogether. So light the candles and gather round the...

AZ Senator Jeff Flake’s Son Probably Did Not Kill Those 20 Dead Dogs *On Purpose* So That’s Something Anyway

OK, we were kind of hoping to avoid writing about this because it is so fucking sad and we have very little funny to say about a whole bunch of dead puppies, but we're just going to roll up...

Wonkette Book Club Update: We’ve Scored A Livechat With Author, NPR Guy, And New Puppy Owner Andy Carvin

Just a quick reminder, Wonkeratti, that you have a bit over a week to get ahold of and read our Book Club's first selection, Andy Carvin's Distant Witness: Social Media, the Arab Spring and a Journalism Revolution. Carvin became...

In Unfamiliar Role, Wonkette Scours Internet for Good News

Yr Wonkette, just like everybody else, still stuck in one of the first four stages of the five stages of grief. ("Acceptance" is not on the table. Not now, not ever). In order to get through the day, we've...

Recession Makes Americans Kill Pets, Quit Having Kids

Not that you'd notice from the 40 million unemployed "workers" in this country, or the way all the houses in your neighborhood are being abandoned by night, or the miles of empty strip malls on the edge of every...

Mike Huckabee Doesn’t Care About All Of The Gross Stuff Gay People Do To Their Dogs

Angelina Jolie recolonized The Congo so that Brangelina could adopt as many precious diamonds and African orphans as humanly possible. On a similar note: Mike Huckabee just wants you to know that babies do not = puppies, these are...

Haiti Earthquake Photos Feature … Puppies?

So there was a terrible earthquake in Haiti, and the news out of there is pretty fucking grim, which is why people who clicked on the link to see reader-submitted photos of the disaster on the Washington Post might...

Obama Nationalizes Puppy Care, And Uncle Berlusconi Would Like To Be With You, Alone

Creepy Italian sausage SILVIO "JUST CALL ME PAPI" BERLUSCONI cherishes his privacy. Sì, Berlusconi needs his special alone time, so he can mount meter maids and plow the dickens out of teenage models in peace. But why won't the...

Everything Is Bad

By the Comics CurmudgeonThe economy's in the crapper! Tim Geithner cannot and will not save us! The stimulus is not stimulating enough, or is too stimulating, or something! Judd Gregg and Barack Obama are getting a divorce! It...

PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES

This is your puppy, America. It belongs to you.

Obamas Will Adopt Precious Rescue Puppy, Destroy American Businesses

Oh look at those Obamas once again "doing the right thing" and being decent or whatever. The terrorist cell "PETA" just sent us this email, claiming that "Obama and his wife, Michelle, have announced that they will adopt a...

Compare And Contrast: New McCain And Obama Attack Ads

Both presidential candidates released some angry shit-talking commercials today. Apparently Barack Obama promises your family fewer jobs, while John McCain lives in a tiny black-and-white television with George Bush. The question is, which candidate more stealthily removed the other...

When Animals Attack DC Fundraisers