Wonkette

The UK’s Telegraph publication completed its list of “the 50 most influential US political pundits” today with the top ten, and it’s only half-retarded. The big problem is that Matt Drudge comes in at #6, when there is no question that he should be #1. No one else on this list would have anything to say, and say all too often, if it weren’t for Matt Drudge. You really cannot underestimate this. Stupid England. [Telegraph]

In this clip, beloved pundit Tucker Carlson proves how totally 100% not gay he is by telling a charming story about how he and his fellow not-gay friend bashed some fag’s head against a bathroom stall. Yeah! Just let Larry Craig try that wide-stance foot-tapping bullshit with Tucker! He’ll smash his fucking homo skull in!

In this video, Bill Kristol sort of picks his nose. Which is actually not as embarrassing as his last couple columns but whatever.

YouTube video: ‘Bill Kristol: Pundit. Chickenhawk. Nose-picker.’ [RawStory]

Charles Krauthammer, esteemed genius psychologist, has finally found the perfect proof that Democrats are all big stupid morons. MORE »

David Broder today comes to a stunning realization: divisive presidents are more than willing to make “bold” and controversial decisions about all sorts of things, but when it comes to firing one of the powerful and ideologically like-minded sycophants they’ve surrounded themselves with, they suddenly, mysteriously chicken out! MORE »

The lovably ignorant right-wing pundit who’s memorized every Simpsons episode but probably couldn’t tell you the difference between Persians and Arabs made a little bet two years ago: MORE »

Yesterday at the supermarket, while wondering at the price they’re asking for red peppers, we were surprised to see President George Bush making like he was examining the zucchinis. He really wasn’t about to buy the courgettes, but pretending to do so gave him cover for sidling up to the other shoppers.

It’s easier to strike up a conversation with somebody picking out a head of romaine if you seem to be doing the same with the squash. The other shoppers weren’t having any of it, however. The President would sidle up to a woman looking over the chicory, and she would move down to the celery. He came after her at the celery and she scooted over to the radishes.

MORE »

This morning, we learned that if you so much as mention that you know where Tucker Carlson lives, he will get you fired. You can imagine how shocked we were to open up the new Washingtonian and see the picture at right. It’s Tucker Carlson’s new house! Posted right there on the Internet for all to see! We’re sure the offices of the Washingtonian will be receiving a visit from an incensed lawyer very soon. MORE »

Fun Fact: If you blog about how Tucker Carlson opened an account at the video store you work at, he will get you fired. MORE »

Pat Buchanan, in full-on raging Old Testament mode, is not going to let the actions of one flamer distract from the real issue at hand, which is that the Democrats are all a bunch of flamers who have gay sex with little flamer kids. MORE »