It’s the post you’ve been waiting for, the one where we point out that the acronym for a certain fanciful robot-car for lazy urban dorks is the same as the acronym for bitterly disenfranchised Hillary Clinton voters, har! Mark Penn is obviously behind this microtrend, called “Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility,” or “Party Unity My Ass,” for short. MORE »

Hey so what’s going on with our old chums in crazytown these days? Oh how convenient, a reader e-mail: “Someone put TeamSarah on the Pumasphere.com blogroll. They also link to this incredibly stupid video.” Ha ha you MUST watch this magnificent film! It’s a standard recruitment tape for a suicide cult or the Dharma Initiative or whatever. TRUTH: “The PUMA movement was thought of as a bunch of disgruntled voters when in reality, it was the Taj Mahal of consciousness reforming political mathematics.” [VodPod]

• FINE: Our dear friend Jon Swift is very angry at your Wonkette for our endorsements in four of the 8,000,000 Weblog Awards categories, because some up-and-coming blogs that would have all lost to horrific PUMA blogs will now simply lose to other blogs. In other words, Jon Swift is mad that he is losing to our hilarious weekly columnist in the Best Humor Blog category. Both are great blogs deserving of the award, OK? JESUS, what do you people want from us? Oh that’s right, Jon Swift has e-mailed us asking for our endorsement so that he too can artificially win, so go vote for him right now, and then everything will be fair again! Damnit now Josh will be mad. [Weblog Awards]

Look. These new PUMAs are really annoying. They’re as reactionary as the Paultards circa late 2007, but at least the Paultards had ideas, man, they had a fuckin’ ethos. These PUMAs, on the other hand, are thoughtless, easily manipulable and selfish to the extent that when they don’t get what they want, they blame everyone else for stealing something and offending them, when really no significant events in the real world could affect them in any meaningful way. These are the people who get personally offended, for some reason, when they hear that Britney Spears went driving with a baby on her lap, or, more pertinently, when Hillary Clinton didn’t get as many delegates as her contender. Grow up. MORE »

Here’s a heartbreaking interview with a prisoner at Gitmo, about how the terrorist Hussein did a fascist thing to these seven weird ladies. COMMENTER CHALLENGE: Are you funny enough to avoid the really obvious, mean/tragic joke here and somehow transcend basic fat jokes? [YouTube via Hart88]

• IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE PUMA BLOG: “Oh, and BTW, Wonkette readers, someday, if you’re lucky, you will live long enough to be old. Your tits will sag, your scrotums will lose their perky tautness and young, stupid adolescent males will make fun of you, unless, of course, the PUMAs make them insignificant. Someday, you may thank us.” Jesus, do you type to your mother with those hands? What does this even mean? Our tits (they’ll have to be yours by default, Sara, sorry) will get saggy and then adolescent males will make fun of us until PUMA KILLS ALL OF THE ADOLESCENT MALES ON EARTH? These people should be in prison. [Confluence]

So we checked out our “competitor,” the Confluence blog, and, as many of you have already discovered… it’s a PUMA site! They have a post called, “An Interview with Harriet Christian, NY Senate Seat Contender.” Oh man. Welcome to our radar, Confluence! [The Confluence]

• FRENEMIES: The Guardian claims Hillary is your new secretary of state for your new president, Barack Obama. [Guardian]

For a few weeks after Obama won the nomination, the biggest story in politics was about the Hilltards — strangely fanatical middle-aged white women who would support the Republican candidate rather than the Democratic nominee, because, uh, the Democratic nominee had disrespected Hillary Clinton by, uhm, winning a political race against her. Also, he’s black. What happened to those people? MORE »

Mmm, happy hour with the RNC and PUMAs. Sign us up. Obviously the RNC cares so much about Hillary voters that, um, they’re not letting any of them in: “Space is limited, and attendees must present both a valid DNCC and press organization credential to gain admittance.” So really… what’s going on here. [RNC]

John McCain might have a crappy old web site that sells golfing gear, but the Republican National Committee is running a very sophisticated Interwebs operation on his behalf. It is so sophisticated that they finally stopped the clock counting how many days had passed since Obama had been to Iraq, and maybe they will even reset it next week, after the clock-winder gets back from his vacation in Orlando. But the very best part of this web site is a section called “Can We Ask?”, where visitors get to ask Barack Obama questions. They are predictably hilarious. MORE »