Wonkette

Remember that time former pro wrestler Jesse “The Body” Ventura ran for Governor of Minnesota, and then he said, “Until you hunted man, you haven’t hunted yet,” and then he turned into a crazy paranoid kook with Satanic facial hair? Well, now he has a new book, and he has embarrassed the Libertarians, so he is doing about as well as anybody expected. [Reason]

Remember way back in JANUARY when math-hating yokel Mike Huckabee looked, for about five minutes, like he might win the Republican presidential nomination? Soon you’ll be able to relive the magic all over again, because he is writing a book, about his campaign! He’ll share secrets like how to gain 35 pounds on the campaign trail without even trying; how to talk your wife into putting a paper bag over her head during Jesus-approved procreative activities; and why Chuck Norris would have made the best Treasury Secretary since Alexander Hamilton. MORE »

If you ever wondered about the secret lives of pill-popping blondes but were too lazy to crack Valley of the Dolls, future First Lady Cindy McCain will help you out. In her memoir, due out just a few months before her angry midget husband is crowned Emperor of America, she will reveal all of her secrets to staying healthy, wealthy, and married to a physically and emotionally fragile war veteran. In other words, the book will be a sort of Less Than Zero meets Deceptively Delicious with a sprinkling of Old Yeller. It will sell one trillion copies after Oprah adds it to her Book Club. [On Politics]

Washington, D.C., attorney Bob Barnett has worked the same magic handling the Kennedy book deal as he did with Bill and Hillary Clinton’s. As we reported earlier this month, the rep was shopping around Kennedy’s autobiography in New York. After a six-day auction that ended Nov. 19, Grand Central Publishing bought world rights for a reported $8 million. Before the deal can be completed, however, Kennedy’s publishing contract must be approved by the Senate Ethics Committee (fun!). Editor and publisher Jonathan Karp said he hoped to publish the book in the fall of 2010, telling The New York Times that Kennedy is “walking, talking history… There’s no limit to what he can talk about with authority and distinctive personal perspective.” Kennedy Memoirs Said to Fetch $8 Million [NYT] MORE »

Fun-loving first twin and secret South American diplomat Jenna Bush is looking for a book deal in New York. Jenna’s got DC superlawyer Robert Barnett shopping the project to publishers, reports Washington Whispers. MORE »