Beloved South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham is gay for three things: Joe Lieberman, John McCain, and acting like a responsible adult once every year or so, to no avail. It is for Lindsey Graham’s latest bout with his third gayness that the Charleston County GOP has now censured him, which is the political term for “doing nothing of any value.” MORE »

Blago, he’s good today. He set up this press conference to announce his surprise Senate pick, and here he is, dressed to the nines, punctual, grinning, even rattling off a few well-turned sentences in Mexican. He knows he’s politically outmaneuvered Harry Reid, which is perhaps the easiest achievement known to man, but still: “Blagojevich’s news conference came less than an hour after U.S. Senate Democratic leadership issued a statement saying the Senate will not seat anyone the governor chooses to fill Illinois’ vacant Senate post.” O RLY, Democratic leadership? You’re going to REFUSE this nice, experienced, elderly black gentleman a legally valid seat in the Senate? Ha ha, no you won’t! MORE »

Here’s your new Obama Campaign spot, and it’s got so much bug-eyed weirdness and nervous blinking from McCain! Also, serious policy stuff, what with how Walnuts is always loving Bush Junior. [Gawker]

What is dumb Fox News doing now, hmm? It appears they aired a segment over the weekend called “Will High Gas Prices Cost Your Kids Their Education?” This, presumably, was to explain this secret classified report: If you have to spend more money on one thing, there is less money to spend on another thing. Fox News illegally leaked this homeland security information and, in doing so, spelled “education” as “eductaion.” We hope that this was not meant as satire — which the New Yorker magazine invented only last week and now look, IT’S EVERYWHERE — because a child’s education is no laughing matter. The thought of children being so illiterate that they cannot spell a common, phonetic word… well, just imagine living in a country of adult retards! [YouTube via Think Progress]

As if further proof was needed that the military was taking most of its strategic cues from shitty ’80s comedies and possibly Electric Six songs, Air Force records recently uncovered by Berkeley’s Sunshine Project reveal the existence of a project dedicated to developing a weapon that will turn our enemies gay, and irresistible. MORE »