Oh, do watch this a few times. A reporter following Nancy Pelosi on Saturday night completely wrecked himself, and only one of his friends would help! WHAT A SCENE! [Fishbowl DC]

This one is a beauty. Congressman Todd Akin, speaking before the Bachmaniacs at the Super Bowl of Retardation, delivers a glib lecture about the Pledge of Allegiance, its history, and its awesome inclusion of “Under God.” He asks the crowd to join him in the Pledge, because it “drives the liberals crazy.” And then he screws it up. MORE »

A top secret operative sends us this video of the line of folks looking to get into Longworth, which is super lengthy. Clearly the guards are ACORN thugs trying to slow down the security process, the bastards. But hey there’s another House office building right across the street, so they will just run back and forth between the two buildings all day trying to find the shortest lines, as one would do at the supermarket check-out. [YouTube]

NOT FOR EPILEPTICS. If you care about elitist “context” (BOOOO!), Gizmodo can give you context. [Gizmodo]

Frothy shoutmonger Joe Wilson is a man of few words — as in, he only knows a few words in the entire English language. But he’s working on it! MORE »

Michael Steele has something to ask all of you in “the Internet Land” (the bathroom): let’s get our win on, baby? “Donate your face… to the campaigns,” he adds, as Bob McDonnell and his evil children plot to destroy him from behind. [Rumproast]

Wacky Southern belle Virginia Foxx, the dingbat congresswoman from North Carolina whose other hits this year include calling the Matthew Shepard beating a “hoax” and for some reason using the word “tarbaby” on the House floor, has now delivered a nuclear bomb of hyperbolic meaninglessness: “I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that [health care] bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country.” Ever. [Media Matters]

Here’s vulgar, fecal replicant Joe Lieberman on this week’s CBS Sunday morning program. It does not take him long to make a unequivocally illogical and terrible argument while patronizing the dirty hippies. He does not understand how the public option has become a “litmus test” for the left, when there are so many other good things in the bill… which is why the inclusion of a public option has become an ironclad “litmus test” for him to vote against it? He then invokes the Hippocratic Oath, like a dick. [Think Progress]

For the second straight year, your Wonkette and operative “Roommate Rob” would like to remind you, the delicate readers, not to get murdered this weekend. Can it happen? Anything can happen, on Halloween. [YouTube]

The latest anti-gay ad in Maine, produced by a paranoid schizophrenic on meth, features random documents with bureaucratic titles and pulled phrases flying around the screen at warp speed, to Warn us. The gay teachers in Maine are all going to come out and then force the gay children — you know, the quiet little boys who play with dolls in the sandbox at recess — to come out with them. MORE »

We’ve decided to post Harry Reid’s very lively health care announcement for perfunctory “news update” purposes only. But but but! If the Google Ad cycle is feeling generous, there’s a good chance you’ll be forced to watch an amazing ad from “1-800-FIREMAN,” at the beginning. No promises. [YouTube, Washington Monthly]