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  wonkette's weekly review of the week that was

Remembering Our Fallen Week: Fillet of the Union

The president recited some old Reagan speech for the State of the Union. It was very well received, especially by the salmon-American population. Blind prophet Michele Bachmann spoke in tongues for six-and-a-half whole minutes following Obama’s Reagan speech, gazing into the very essence of the iChat. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Fillet of the Union…
  wonkette's weekly review of the week that was

Remembering Our Fallen Week: The Tragedy In Wasilla

Your Wonkbot kept us safe from terror, before becoming another victim in the tragedy in Tuscon, Arizona, just like fellow Cylon Sarah Palin. Starved for attention (her TLC show ended this week), Sister Sarah made a CONTROVERSIAL hate movie (Crash 2), shot on location in her Wasilla meth factory. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: The Tragedy In Wasilla…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: The Worst Hanukkah Ever

We learned that compromise in the Senate means giving into every Republican demand, ever, and that disagreeing just makes you a partisan hack. Just to prove the president’s point, several of those partisan hacks in the lesser legislature had a big old tantrum to oppose the president and his billion-dollar Hanukkah gift to Joe Lieberman. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: The Worst Hanukkah Ever…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Giant Babies Invade Congress

Michele Bachmann and Steve King stood up for the antebellum south, who have been totally ignored since that runaway Kenyan slave became president. Perfect virgin Bristol Palin memorized some new vocabulary words to defend her honor against the ruler of Dictionopolis, Keith Olbermann. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Giant Babies Invade Congress…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Derision Points

The fake-pearl wearing former-FLOTUS, Barbara Bush, likes to can her fetuses. Screeching moonbat Keith Olbermann got suspended from his show because he  refused to apologize for being a screeching moonbat. The American wet-noodle party has yet to decide how often they will tongue-bathe John Boehner’s anus. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Derision Points…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: There’s No ‘I’ in ‘Tea’

Your Wonkette dutifully and diligently documented the great teabagging of America, which will forever be remembered in the annals of history. The newly dethroned Queen of the House will remain the reptilian princess of the Democrats, forever. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: There’s No ‘I’ in ‘Tea’…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Pubic Humiliation

Journalism jumped the shark (again!) when our ex-godmother Gawker posted a mean thing about our beloved sybil Christine O’Donnell — despite holding back the juiciest details. Coincidentally(?), Christine also developed a taste for human flesh. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Pubic Humiliation…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Passive Aggressive Phone Message

The past came alive for Clarence Thomas on the anniversary of his best job interview ever. Sarah Palin sucked face with a dog, which was okay because it was a patriotic AMERICAN breed, unlike a certain filthy PORTUGUESE dog, Bo Obama. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Passive Aggressive Phone Message…
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Our Fallen Week: When Christine Rode Rockers and Teabaggers Were Nazis

If only we had done our job fighting the Soviets in the 1980s, like Christine O’Donnell wanted, we might not be in this Muslim-mess. The much-anticipated sequel to Who’s Nailin’ Palin, TLC’s Sarah Palin’s Alaska got a steamy new trailer. Read more on Our Fallen Week: When Christine Rode Rockers and Teabaggers Were Nazis…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Shake It To Make It Work

Newsboy Jim Lehrer retired his abacus and messenger pigeons for a newfangled iPhone. CNN anchor Rick Sanchez invented the hottest new Internet meme since LOLCats and TruckNutz combined: Jews secretly control the media! Why has no one thought of this before? Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Shake It To Make It Work…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Idiocy of the Majority

All-natural tangerine dreamboat John Boehner was accused of boehning the shit out of a lobbyist, instead of just proverbially fucking them for campaign cash. The scrotal sack known as the Democratic party was so limp and floppy (from constant teabagging) it couldn’t even muster the courage to repeal the ludicrous Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy, much less George Bush’s billionaire tax cuts. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Idiocy of the Majority…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Falling Into Godspell

Yahweh (The Comedy God) gifted America with our newest, HOTTEST reincarnation of Ronald Reagan, the Elvin princess Christine O’Donnell. After losing her freshly minted angel wings (to witchcraft), Xtine became Christianity’s official Mistress of Masturbation, banning all forms of self-pleasure, except for self-tanning, due to heavy pressure from John Boehner. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Falling Into Godspell…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Worst Week Since Last

Alvin Greene, America’s first Daoist statesman, offered your Wonkette the opportunity of several reincarnated lifetimes. Wonkette Cribs took an all-access tour of Senate candidate Joe Miller’s sweet (creepy) Alaskan love shack. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Worst Week Since Last…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Restoring Trig’s Honor

Christopher Hitchen’s cum-rag, Vanity Fair, ran a typically lolberal exposé of Eskimo Princess and panties hoarder Sarah Palin, viciously attacking God’s only son, the pure-as-fallen-snow baby Trig. Arizona Governor Jan Brewer was at a loss for words, probably because the Mexicans stole them all. Luckily, a recent money-bomb allows her the opportunity to continue exporting these lexicographic scoundrels. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Restoring Trig’s Honor…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Pandering To Children

Glenn Beck and friends are getting sweet-tats all over Washington DC right now, but not on the green or yellow lines, because that’s where the black people congregate to play craps on the Kill Whitey Express. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Pandering To Children…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: In the Muslin Fashion

The Cordoba Victory Party Mosque continued to inspire America’s best passions all over our xenophobic idiot-state, even after our own Muslim president cowardly came out in favor of its “constitutional” right to exist. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: In the Muslin Fashion…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Keep On Leakin’

Professional baby-maker and virile tabloid hottie Levi Johnston plans to run for mayor of his meth-addled hometown, bravely standing up against the old-guard fat cats that populate Wasilla’s city hall/methadone clinics. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Keep On Leakin’…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones

The culture industry absorbed the potentially-mentally-ill candidate Basil Marceaux into its oily cogs. Now that Basil is just another big wig, who will stand up against America’s #1 enemy, gold-fringed flags? Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones…
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Remembering Our Fallen Week: ♫Root, Toot, Poot♫

According to 2010 “constitutional law,” impeaching ol’Bama is pretty darn tricky. Luckily, some brave Georgian-era nobility have come forth to impeach Obama in the year 1810. Patrick Henry rematerialized in our time to audition for a starring role in Ocean’s 14. Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: ♫Root, Toot, Poot♫…