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Richmond Remainders: Washington’s Would-Be Tomb!

So no less than three (3) Richmond people told us that we just HAD to go visit the Hollywood Cemetery, where Jim Morrison is buried, because nowhere else will you see such an outstanding specimen of pastoral cemetery design. Of course we had no time to visit this ghoulish wasteland of cadavers, so we saw the next best thing: a monument to George Washington, located just outside the Virginia State House. This monument included a little door in the bottom to put Washington’s corpse in, but then obviously Washington was too big to fit through it (he is at the top there). Plus he was already dead and buried up at Mount Vernon, so now they use the little hobbit-door for storing wine and ripe cheeses. Read more on Richmond Remainders: Washington’s Would-Be Tomb!…
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More Pictures From Wonkette’s Exciting Excuse To Make Ken Post ‘News Items’ By Himself For Two Days!

For dinner last night on our Wonkette Travel Journalism Tour through Virginia, we went to the best Italian restaurant in the South! Unfortunately Arlen Specter had shown up earlier to vomit all over the floor, earlier. But that made for good eatin’! What else is here, in Virginia? Just some Muslins. Read more on More Pictures From Wonkette’s Exciting Excuse To Make Ken Post ‘News Items’ By Himself For Two Days!…
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Another Post About ‘Arlen Specter’s State,’ Virginia

Congratulations to Arlen Specter for joining the Dixiecrat Party of America’s “Mid-Atlantic!” Here in America’s slave city, Richmond — a “blue city” now — we located the “X” marking on the ground where the Enola Gay will finally destroy the South with her payload of Pig Nukes from space — as soon as Arlen Specter gives the word! See? He doesn’t even have to “primary” here. Read more on Another Post About ‘Arlen Specter’s State,’ Virginia…
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Death March Through George Washington’s Farm

So we arrived here late, of course, due to Tories, and scarfed down a few blueberry muffins before departing on a grand tour of George Washington’s farm. We saw a museum under a sheep pasture, where they store George Washington’s skull (pictured above). Did you know the father of our nation was a hologram? Well, now you do. Read more on Death March Through George Washington’s Farm…
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Why We Have Been Slacking

Two associate editors of a certain NOTORIOUSLY SNARKY D.C. political Web site have been enjoying fun adventures, such as parties with famous overtanned A-list cable news celebrities and looking for Jim’s car keys. Now we are en route to Mount Vernon, where we will be whisked away by tourism authorities and sent to prison camps in Tappahannock. Read more on Why We Have Been Slacking…