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  wonkette investigates

How Did We Respond To Attacks On US Diplomats Before Hillary Clinton Did Them All?

Your Wonkette was wondering: Prior to 9/11/12, when God and Hillary Clinton did 9/11 Classic to four Americans in Libya, a place of Muslims, was there anything? Here’s what we mean: Did history start on that date, or was there a bunch of stuff that “came before,” stuff like other terrorist attacks on US diplomatic targets under other presidents? We shall now examine a collection of these past events, as well as the political reactions to them. What will we learn about our current awful political culture and how it uses terrorist attacks to score cheap points? (Hint: No one was bothered when it happened like a million times under Ronald Reagan.) Read more on How Did We Respond To Attacks On US Diplomats Before Hillary Clinton Did Them All?…
  wonkette investigates

Hideous $3999.95 Painting of Andrew Breitbart Actually Swiped from Video Game

Welcome to a very special guest post by long-time Wonkette reader “Doktor Zoom.” Enjoy! So, you know that painting by David Bugnon of Dead Guy Andrew Breitbart as a Teutonic Knight in Heaven, ready to take on commies, liberal scumbags, and innocent Department of Agriculture employees from beyond the grave? You know, the painting that one actual professional art critic called a “masterpiece of Outsider art, a veritable holocaust-tsunami of bad taste?” The painting that Patriot Depot is selling reproductions of for the bargain price of a mere $3999.95 for a limited-edition 36″ x 48″ giclee on canvas? The painting which The Patriot Update bravely calls, “The Painting Obama Fears?” Yeah, it’s not so much a painting as a Photoshop mashup of a stock photo of Andrew Breitbart and a character from the copyrighted computer game Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, with a pretty sunset-and-clouds background that probably also came from some stock photo website — no doubt somebody will find that soon, too. (NOW WITH UPDATE BELOW!) Read more on Hideous $3999.95 Painting of Andrew Breitbart Actually Swiped from Video Game…
  wonkette investigates

A Brief Guide To the Evil 2012 Bilderberg Conference, In Virginia

It’s that time of year again, when the Global Illuminati Powerful Rich Folk gather in secret, to hide their secrets and drink dragon blood and eat gold cookies at the Bilderberg Conference. It is a very closed affair and no one in the mainstream media covers it, because everyone in the media is a pussy. Your Wonkette doesn’t cover it either — although we were thinking about getting drunk and vomiting in the Bilderberg driveway this year, should we ever bother to get up from our vomit pool of a couch — but we do acknowledge its existence and make wild claims about it for shits and giggles. Did you know that this year, Bilderberger Elite want to enslave the human race even more than usual? It is Topic Number One on the Agenda. It is true. Read more on A Brief Guide To the Evil 2012 Bilderberg Conference, In Virginia…