Now that Dick Cheney has been literally wheeled out of Washington on a stretcher, who will we blurrily photograph molesting young maidens in distress? That is a question that only you, the reader, can answer. Send us your sightings/sexy candid camera-phone pics of vaguely famous people misbehaving around town for our famous and sporadically produced feature, “Wonk’d.” A handful of Wonkette readers recently spotted DC celebs in such unlikely places as the gym, and in “makeup trailers” (!). After the jump, sightings of a couple of news people and also a Weeds star and maybe even President Oprah Winfrey herself, eating her feelings at Starbucks later today! MORE »

Remember when we used to have a fun weekly column called Wonk’d, in which we posted your Eye-Witness Reports of famous-for-D.C. people milling about in Washington? Well, we sort of quit doing it, during the long presidential campaign when nobody important was anywhere around D.C. But now they’re coming back! So here is a reminder to start sending cell-phone pix and your Wonkette Operative reports of people doing whatever, blogging from a Subway sandwich shop, etc. MORE »

Wonkette clutch operative “Mark” writes, “I saw Ashley Todd in a Barnes & Noble in Pittsburgh. Her wounds have healed, though she looked a little nervous. She was just drinking a coffee and reading a magazine. I would call her a freeloader for not working at 11 AM on a Tuesday and reading magazines she doesn’t intend to buy, but that’s what I was doing too.” No, “Mark,” we all know that you were there to carve her up with magazine papercuts while being a black person.

Wonkette Bitter operative “Carl” brings us a very important EMERGENCY WONK’D today, in which he spots Barack Obama at Eliot Spitzer’s hooker hotel in Washington D.C. Barry, of course, is in town today to vote in favor of the illegal FISA overhaul. But mostly he is just talking on his cell phone and riding in a foreign terrorism-supporting S.U.V. and ignoring “Carl” and his Bitter friends. Read the account, after the jump. MORE »

Endless Simmer blogger “gansie” sent us this startling image of beloved D.C. pundit Andrew Sullivan blogging at a Subway sandwich shop. Really! (Unless this is the strangest use of Photoshop in History.) The shocking report: “Tuesday 4/29 — 6:30 p.m.: Andrew Sullivan in full blogging mode — at Subway!” It’s the one at 16th and V, if you’re wondering. (When did Subway start doing the fancy Starbucks chairs and low tables?) This should’ve gone in Wonk’d but was simply too wonderful to get lost in a crowd of lesser sightings. Bloggers: They’re just like us! [Endless Simmer]

Whoa, hey, is that a blurry picture of the famous secret diplomat, Joe Wilson? It is! What’s he up to, these days? Well, if you believe our tipster “Sal,” Wilson can be found these days campaigning for Hillary in tiny little towns, so that his wife can remain undercover. Join us for a super special weeks-late Wonk’d with appearances by Jim Webb, Chuck Hagel, Wonder Woman, Wolf Blitzer, Donald and Mrs. Donald Rumsfeld, Tom Ridge, Rob Lowe, Andrew Sullivan, Larry Craig and the always fetching Elizabeth Kucinich … after the jump!

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Hello, people who are suddenly seeing famous-for-D.C. people everywhere in town all of a sudden! We like this, we like it very much. So this week, enjoy the voyeuristic fun of seeing James Carville, George Allen, lovebirds Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich, Keith Olbermann, Martin Sheen and many more, after the jump. MORE »

This week, Al Franken, Mike Shields, and Larry Craig were all spotted being various degrees of “Famous for DC” at various places by our spies and operatives. It is not the Biggest Ever Wonk’d, but you really only get something like that once in a lifetime. Plus, gay Larry Craig! MORE »

A week ago today, we bitterly presented the World’s Worst Wonk’d. The “D.C. celebrity sightings” consisted of George Will buying another fucking book at Borders, and a fireman who had once been on local teevee. We demanded that you people get it together, and you got it together! Huzzah for Wonkette Operatives! This week, Fred Thompson, Robert Mueller, Tom Ridge, Juan Williams, Marion Barry, Ben Bernanke, Ken Mehlman, Robert Novak, Dana Milbank, Mark Warner, and David Frum were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. The most voyeuristic fun ever in Wonkette’s Five Long Years of History, after the jump. MORE »

This week, George Will is sure going to be bummed when Borders shuts down for good, and one of you recognized a fireman or something. You people are not really being very good spies and operatives, are you? We realize nobody cares about anything but Barack Obama these days and all the famous-for-D.C. people are either recuperating at home or out on somebody’s campaign trail, but Jesus Christ, how about a few sightings? MORE »

How the hell is Mike Huckabee doing these days? Well, he’s thirsty, and he’s still running for President of Jesus, and to finance both of these things he delivered a paid speech in the Cayman Islands — where the Fat Cats hide their money — this weekend. Wonkette operative “Mikey G.” happened to spot Huckabee at Miami Airport on Sunday, presumably when our heroic candidate was returning from his Island holiday. Huckabee, of course, was very alone, and no one knew who he was. MORE »