Here is one of the straight-up most unethical things ever, in journalism: Newsweek has been circulating this invitation to a forum on climate change and energy policy. The objective news magazine will co-sponsor and co-host this event with the actual manifestation of Big Oil, the American Petroleum Institute. In the Capitol! GOODNESS. [Sexy Oil Party Invite!]

Oh goodness, a month ago Alan Grayson called some lobbyist lady a “K Street whore” and now the Internet has gotten a hold of the secret whore tapes. This was a terribly inappropriate thing to say, and as you can imagine, absolutely nothing has ever pleased The POLITICO more. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
If Carl Jung were alive today, he’d see political cartoons as a shortcut into our collective subconscious. Those brave few Americans who continue to read newspapers have the honor or seeing the darkest, foulest recesses of the human mind barfed out daily onto editorial pages everywhere. In order to fulfill their appointed role of shocking a jaded nation, the cartoonists select only the most depraved, taboo-violating subjects for their art. What we’re trying to say is that this week’s cartoons are all about awful stuff, so brace yourself before you click the clicky and see the things in store for you. MORE »

Remember that wingnut Kenneth Gladney, who pretended to get super super beaten up by the Obama’s “union thugs” outside a town hall in St. Louis, and then wanted to make tons of money being half-famous like Joe the Plumber? His lawyer isn’t paying the website bills anymore! Huh. And so, with this, we will now close the very thin file on Kenneth Gladney. [Washington Independent]

We literally received this e-mail in our tips box a few minutes ago, and maybe it’s a joke (?), but for now we’ll just assume that Kenneth Gladney is the biggest whore in history. Like 100 times more whorish than Joe the Plumber and the world’s entire collection of actual street-walking prostitutes combined. MORE »

Could this possibly be true? Famous MSNBC reporter David Shuster, who once boldly suggested that Hillary Clinton was a pimp who shopped around her daughter for cash in exchange for sex, allegedly has a bald spot, and allegedly gets very upset when his bald spot appears on the television. Who is the “source close to production” who tattled to Page Six about this possible problem of David Shuster’s? Hillary Clinton, probably. [Page Six]

INTERN RILEY GOES LEGIT: Look, he’s writing for the esteemed Internet publication Matt Taibbi’s Still So Mad At Goldman Sachs. His beat: college and whoring, two topics upon which he is a National Authority. Check it out! [True/Slant: The Diploma Mill]

South Carolina’s embarrassing Argentine love-tango scandal may have made its governor look bad, but two parties have emerged from this sad nightmare smelling like little roses: Jenny Sanford, and The State newspaper. Yesterday the paper released a pack of hilariously sycophantic requests from various media outlets to Governor Sanford’s office suggesting that — !!! — sometimes reporters and media types imply that their subjects will get favorable coverage if they’ll just respond to a goddamn interview request. MORE »

Levi Johnston made quite a name for himself by impregnating that Palin daughter (NOT PIPER YOU MONSTERS) and then going on the Larry King Live occasionally and grunting out a few monosyllables in between commercial breaks. “Yes. No. I don’t know.” But yesterday he held a NEWS CONFERENCE at his lawyer’s office to reveal the SHOCKING TRUE SECRET behind his ex-girlfriend’s mom’s resignation from the Alaska governorship. MORE »

Really, come on, what the hell? South Carolina state senator and fellow Republican Jake Knotts has this to say about Mark Sanford’s secret sexytime: “I found out that he was taking frequent trips at odd times of the night in a South Carolina Law Enforcement Division car with no security. He would be driving. I got wind that he had taken another one of these types of capers last Thursday, and that nobody knew who he was with.” [CNN]

Ha ha, Texas. Once this state secedes, where will the rest of America turn for laffs? (Answer: Oklahoma.) A senior strategist for Governor Rick Perry likened a more inclusive national Republican Party to a “whorehouse,” and all the GOP ladies in Texas just went nuts. MORE »