Tag Archives: pt who?

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Some Chick Running For President Even Though She Has A Vagina And Everything, LOLOLOLOL

Christ, yes, we're ready already
The Interwebs are reporting that a broad named Hillz Rodham Somebody will be making a special announcement this weekend: Hillary Clinton is planning to officially launch her US presidential campaign on Sunday while en route to Iowa, a source familiar with the campaign has confirmed to the Guardian. Read more on Some Chick Running For President Even Though She Has A Vagina And Everything, LOLOLOLOL…
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‘The Blaze’ Writer, Headline Writer At Odds Over Thrill Quotient Of Possible Portman Pick

We feel fairly sure how whoever writes the headlines over at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze feels about a possible Rob Portman veep nod, what with their terrible intimation that nobody even knows who Rob Portman is. But how does the article about Rob Portman admitting he’s being vetted by the Romney camp frame the news? (Differently. It frames it differently, as a valiant fighter at the expense of Wonket Hero No. One And For All Time, Old Handsome Joe Biden.) Read more on ‘The Blaze’ Writer, Headline Writer At Odds Over Thrill Quotient Of Possible Portman Pick…
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Billionaire Republicans Have Fool-Proof Secret Weapon Against Obama That Will Totally Work This Time

Uh oh! It looks like some rightwing Chicago Cubs owner (?) has a secret plan to spend millions finally showing America the real Barack Hussein NOBAMA via his shadowy association with a man no one has ever heard of before and whose name you will not even recognize because of how this has never been covered! Stupid LAMESTREAM MEDIA! Time to get fitted for your inauguration crown, Governor Romney, because Bamz is about to get blown out of the water by this new, never-heard-before, super-shocking revelation! The plan, which is awaiting approval, calls for running commercials linking Mr. Obama to incendiary comments by his former spiritual adviser, the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., whose race-related sermons made him a highly charged figure in the 2008 campaign. Who? Your Wonkette has never heard of that person, because of how stupid old John McCain would not let Steve Schmidt or the other heroes of his 2008 campaign focus on race-baiting, because he is a jerk. It seems — don’t quote us, we are just jumping into this new information that nobody knew until now — that Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. is a pastor, and he is black and controversial! Read more on Billionaire Republicans Have Fool-Proof Secret Weapon Against Obama That Will Totally Work This Time…
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Kathy Griffin Ruins Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Maybe

Ha ha, it’s Kathy Griffin, from… wherever she’s from! She is the one who curses a lot on CNN’s Anderson Cooper New Year’s Party, yes? In one of those “unplanned” moments of live television. Well she is now in Washington D.C., videotaping something that will not advance gay rights. Read more on Kathy Griffin Ruins Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Maybe…
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WATERGATE × INFINITY: “White House Social Secretary Desiree Rogers told me Friday she will step down next month, after presiding over 330 events in the White House in 14 months.” [Sun Times] Read more on …
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Elderly Wingnut ‘Teen Idol’ Also Wants Personal Copy of Obama’s Birth Certificate

What happens when you’re super angry about a Negro somehow becoming president, but there are no longer specific laws against a Negro becoming president? Make up something else! Better yet, make up something that can never be disproved, to you, because you can just dedicate yourself to saying, “Nah, that is FAKE somehow!” Perfection. And guess who just joined the “Birther” club? Once-famous right-wing asshole and talentless fruitsack Pat Boone, who made a living half a century ago stealing the black man’s music, that’s who. Read more on Elderly Wingnut ‘Teen Idol’ Also Wants Personal Copy of Obama’s Birth Certificate…
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John McCain’s Sexy Lobbyist Friend Sues NYT For $27 Million That It Doesn’t Have

Dig through your memory of the 20 trillion mini-scandals that defined the ceaseless 2-hour news cycle we called the “2008 Presidential Election” and you may remember a liberal New York Times story that was structured something like this: (a) [first few grafs] CORPORATE LIAR & ADULTERER JOHN MCCAIN VIOLENTLY BANGS THE HELL OUT OF THIS NON-WIFE CORPORATE LOBBYIST HARLOT, FOR BLOOD MONEY (b) [segue graf] Ha ha just kidding, well maybe, just that some dude told us that (c) [the final 95% of the story] There are a few modest ambiguities in John McCain’s Senate record, the end. The Times was attacked from both the left and the right for this needless, comical story. The lobbyist gal McCain was obviously boning befriending, Vicki Iseman, surely had her life destroyed, so now she’s suing the New York Times for a $27 million cash prize which will almost certainly bankrupt the newspaper. Vicki Iseman, ha ha, holy shit! Blast from the past! [AP] Read more on John McCain’s Sexy Lobbyist Friend Sues NYT For $27 Million That It Doesn’t Have…
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College Newspaper Lands Major ‘Joe The Plumber’ Interview

Unlicensed artisan Sam Wurzelbacher, known to most Americans as “Joe the Plumber,” has gone from interviews on CNN/MSNBC/Fox News everyday and being the only talking point of a major party’s presidential campaign to much higher vistas: an interview with the Tufts college newspaper and the single most important journalist since Mencken, Michael Bendetson, “a freshman who has not yet declared a major.” Joe explains that he will never have any success doing anything popular again, except for that weird blog and book. Read more on College Newspaper Lands Major ‘Joe The Plumber’ Interview…