Tag: pt who?

Harvard Law Professor Running For President (No, Not The One You Want)

So this some dude professor guy, his name is Larry, and he is running for U.S. President of America. You may be familiar with his previous political experience supporting a fake candidate for Senate in 2014, but, like, to make...
How many votes you getting, buddy?

Let’s Learn About That Jerk From Ohio Who’s Not Going To Be President, Then Promptly Forget

You know how Republican primary voters are looking for a serious candidate? One with a record of governance, popularity within his own state (sorry, Carly, but these are not vag voters, they want a his), and even a moderate...
Who?

Ex-Republican Lincoln Chafee Wants To Be Your Next Democratic President. Wait, Who?

So now this guy Lincoln Chafee (who?) from the state of Rhode Island (where?) wants to be president because who doesn't these days? What's he got that the other bajillion wannabe dudes and lady-dudes in the race don't got?...
Christ, yes, we're ready already

Some Chick Running For President Even Though She Has A Vagina And Everything, LOLOLOLOL

The Interwebs are reporting that a broad named Hillz Rodham Somebody will be making a special announcement this weekend: Hillary Clinton is planning to officially launch her US presidential campaign on Sunday while en route to Iowa, a source familiar...

‘The Blaze’ Writer, Headline Writer At Odds Over Thrill Quotient Of Possible Portman Pick

We feel fairly sure how whoever writes the headlines over at Glenn Beck's The Blaze feels about a possible Rob Portman veep nod, what with their terrible intimation that nobody even knows who Rob Portman is. But how does...

Billionaire Republicans Have Fool-Proof Secret Weapon Against Obama That Will Totally Work This Time

Uh oh! It looks like some rightwing Chicago Cubs owner (?) has a secret plan to spend millions finally showing America the real Barack Hussein NOBAMA via his shadowy association with a man no one has ever heard of...

Kathy Griffin Ruins Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Maybe

Ha ha, it's Kathy Griffin, from... wherever she's from! She is the one who curses a lot on CNN's Anderson Cooper New Year's Party, yes? In one of those "unplanned" moments of live television. Well she is now in...

WATERGATE × INFINITY: "White House Social Secretary Desiree Rogers told me Friday she will step down next month, after presiding over 330 events in the White House in 14 months."

Elderly Wingnut ‘Teen Idol’ Also Wants Personal Copy of Obama’s Birth Certificate

What happens when you're super angry about a Negro somehow becoming president, but there are no longer specific laws against a Negro becoming president? Make up something else! Better yet, make up something that can never be disproved, to...

John McCain’s Sexy Lobbyist Friend Sues NYT For $27 Million That It Doesn’t Have

Dig through your memory of the 20 trillion mini-scandals that defined the ceaseless 2-hour news cycle we called the "2008 Presidential Election" and you may remember a liberal New York Times story that was structured something like this: (a)...

College Newspaper Lands Major ‘Joe The Plumber’ Interview

Unlicensed artisan Sam Wurzelbacher, known to most Americans as "Joe the Plumber," has gone from interviews on CNN/MSNBC/Fox News everyday and being the only talking point of a major party's presidential campaign to much higher vistas: an interview with...