The best thing to happen in all of Texas last year was when a few Democratic anarcho-syndicalists burned down Rick Perry’s governor’s mansion with a flaming bag of Barney Bush’s poop, maybe. But because the remaining outer shell of this hell castle is a Historical Texas outer shell — and Texas never cheaps out when it comes to honoring its proud history of slavery, violence, oil, and self-importance — the difficult, tedious renovation will cost TWENTY MILLION dollars. CONSIDERING THE COST, the Texas state legislature is now telling Perry that if he wants his dumb house, then $11 million of that sum will have to come out of the Obama Stimulus Package — the thing Perry pretended to hate so much that he vowed to secede over it in ~FY2011. MORE »