In the English-speaking world, the greatest honor that a well-known human can earn is to be made into a waxen gargoyle by Madame Tussauds. Michelle Obama, our new First Lady, will enjoy this wonderful privilege in a few short months. MORE »

NO-SHOWS: After we saw the Wax Demon of Barack Obama at the ghetto Safeway, we figured he’d show up anywhere! Alas, Madame Tussauds’ homunculus of our new president kindly RSVP’s that he’s already booked tonight and won’t be at Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball. So if you want a picture with the Wax Demon Obama, you must get the “presidential package” at the D.C. Museum of Wax, for $50, which also includes a horrifying “Inaugural Wax Hand.” [Madame Tussauds DC]

Your Wonkette associate editor was buying his weekly “groceries” (frozen gravy-flavored bacon sticks and chocolate) at the Safeway on 14th & D sts. SE when suddenly his fellow customers screamed, “OMG IT’S OBAMA.” Then: “I want my picture taken with Obama.” Lastly: “Oh he’s just wax Obama.” Just kidding, your associate editor was the only person to do this. This is the famous Wax Demon, and it will be terrorizing other Safeways in the District tonight, according to the terrorist in charge. This is what feminism looks like!

From yesterday’s Power Lunch of the Living (?) Presidents, here’s an official White House photograph of George H.W. Bush Sr. “41″ and George W. Bush Jr. “43″ protecting the elitist patriot Barack Obama from these two scary old white-headed Democrats. Notice which two dudes aren’t wearing flag pins. [White House]