SPACE DISASTER SOMEHOW DIDN’T INVOLVE NASA: Some old broken-ass Russian military satellite smashed into an Iridium satellite and now they are both tiny bits of space debris that will eventually cause the Apocalypse — the Russian satellite had a nuclear reactor. [Wall Street Journal]

Ha ha, it’s time for the Stupid August Questions portion of the campaign. Because we all know UFOs are pretend and space aliens aren’t for realz and there’s no such thing as monsters and at least they’re not trying to kill our presidents, it’s a hoot to see Barack Obama make fun of this terrible threat to Earth. [Ben Smith/KGAN]

Air Force logs and government radar reports released under the Freedom of Information Act reveal that a massive, terrible mystery aircraft barreled through the skies of Central Texas on January 8 — and it was headed for George W. Bush’s Crawford ranch at 2,100 miles per hour! MORE »

SPACE DEMONS WILL KILL US ALL: The GAO issues a “scathing report” about the lack of a plan to fight the Moon Monsters. “DOD and the intelligence community have not developed, agreed upon, or issued a National Security Space Strategy.” [Network World]

If you’re one of the millions of people in Los Angeles who just got buzzed by roaring fighter jets, relax. MORE »