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  war all the time

Obama Starting New War In … Uganda! Sure, Uganda Sounds Good

Is the War of Libya over? Who knows. How about the War In Iraq? Kind of dull these days, we guess. War against Afghanistan? Very expensive and busy, as always, but it’s mostly boring Robot Raptors laser-blasting poor families in mud huts. And then we (ha ha, “we”) have soldiers and troops and special forces and androids in another 117 countries around the world. A hundred and seventeen! Who knew we even had so many countries! But that’s the Obama Administration for you! (The Bush Administration had military forces in 75 countries. So, Obama is better, we guess, at having American military operatives destabilizing the world, constantly.) Anyway, it’s time for a war in a different kind of place. So much desert, right? Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen …. just one arid-ass place after another. You always need to have like two chapsticks. How about a jungle, for a change? That’s different! Great, then Uganda it is. Send the “military advisers,” haw haw. Read more on Obama Starting New War In … Uganda! Sure, Uganda Sounds Good…
  war all the time

U.S. Wingnuts Ready To Pretend-Attack Norway Bombers/Shooters

Nobody knows what’s really going on in Oslo or at the holiday camp island in Norway where a bombing and a shooting have left many people dead, but it’s always safe for American Idiots on the Internet to jump in with a suspect (“Muslims”) and a verdict (“guilty”) and a list of co-conspirators (“Obama and the liberals”) and a punishment (“kill ’em all”). No matter that a tall blond man of “Norwegian appearance” and wearing a police uniform is described as the shooter on Norway’s Utoya Island — thee muslins are increasingly able to appear as whatever people or things they want to appear as, just like the Cylons or Harry Potter. Here’s what the foreign policy experts at FreeRepublic.com are saying about the attacks right now. Read more on U.S. Wingnuts Ready To Pretend-Attack Norway Bombers/Shooters…
  war all the time

Oh, and America Is Fighting Another War Against Arabs (In Yemen)

Were you feeling a little unsatisfied, because America is only fighting major wars right now against Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan and Libya? Time to be fulfilled: Your U.S. military is also now having a war in Yemen. “Secretly,” haha. From the New York Times, ugh: Read more on Oh, and America Is Fighting Another War Against Arabs (In Yemen)…
  war all the time

IMF Guy Quits IMF, Bin Laden Quits Al Qaeda, Planets Quit Solar Systems

The main political news in the world right now is that allegedly rape-y IMF Frenchman, because he resigned his job as chief of the International Monetary Fund. Surprising, too, because most people just figured he would run the IMF from prison. (This is how it works at the World Bank.) Also, and just like Tupac, Osama bin Laden is still releasing new tracks. His latest dropped via cassette tape or something, totally old school. In this statement, Osama says he is so keyed up about the Arab Spring peaceful demonstrations that he’s wondering if the whole violent Al Qaeda terrorist thing is even relevant anymore. So, good for Osama! Everybody should get a chance to repent before they’re executed by U.S. Navy Seals in a Pakistan suburb. Also: There are giant sunless planets just cold floating around our galaxy, billions of them. Billions of stray planets floating around, without a star to warm their native space monster populations. And these planets are all going to smash into the Earth, on Saturday. Read more on IMF Guy Quits IMF, Bin Laden Quits Al Qaeda, Planets Quit Solar Systems…
  war all the time

Hot ‘Extremely Graphic’ Pixxx of U.S. Soldiers Murdering Afghan People

Wow, we are not even going to click through these, because we kind of remember the last several batches of “extremely graphic” pictures of U.S. troops and U.S. military contractors murdering and torturing Muslims in the various countries where America continues to murder and torture people, for Freedom. In fact, we’re going to cover our eyes with a couple of those yellow “I support the troops” car magnets we keep in the garbage, just in case. But if you need some help understanding/remembering why the American Empire is Evil, then please do enjoy (?) these photos of brainwashed meatheads smiling and posing with the corpses of the people they’ve murdered, thanks to your taxpayer dollars. Read more on Hot ‘Extremely Graphic’ Pixxx of U.S. Soldiers Murdering Afghan People…
  war all the time

Today In Revolutions: Yemen Massacre, Syria Clash, Bahrain Bloodletting, Etc.

The bloodshed seems to be halted in Libya today, hooray for the UN no-fly/no-massacre resolution, but some of the other many Arab Uprisings are still going terribly today: “Syrian security forces dispersed protesters in two towns Friday, state media reported in the first official word of what appeared to be the gravest unrest in years in one of the Mideast’s most repressive states.” [ABC News] Read more on Today In Revolutions: Yemen Massacre, Syria Clash, Bahrain Bloodletting, Etc….
  war all the time

Petraeus Cites ‘Progress’ In Killing Taliban Guys For 10 Years Straight

War schlub David Petraeus did one of his “report cards to the Senate” things today, and he’s got good news! Despite never accomplishing* a single thing in 10 years of bloody, pointless, horrific boondoggle Central Asian warfare, “It is only recently that we have gotten the inputs right in Afghanistan.” Oh, now we get it! Afghanistan is like an old person trying to plug in an iPad. No, wait, the iPad wasn’t yet invented when we invaded Afghanistan. The iPhone? Nope. The Microsoft Zune? Ha ha, the Zune’s entire life has come and gone during just the second half (so far) of the Afghanistan occupation. Well how about an old-school iPod, with Grampa (who was much younger then!) just cold confused over that weird Apple firewire plug? No, sorry. The invasion of Afghanistan began on October 7, 2001 — the first clunky iPod went on sale several weeks later, on October 23. Read more on Petraeus Cites ‘Progress’ In Killing Taliban Guys For 10 Years Straight…
  war all the time

Scenes From a War: Madison After the Union-Busting Bill

Well, they did it — probably unconstitutionally, certainly amorally, but the Wisconsin state senate Republicans crammed through their union-crushing bill tonight, and the response wasn’t very happy from the union workers and protesters and plain decent people of Wisconsin (and beyond) gathered for so long in Madison. Read more on Scenes From a War: Madison After the Union-Busting Bill…
  war all the time

Rabbi At Temple Targeted By Explosives Has Sane, Un-American Response

That parcel-terror plot apparently involved explosives being mailed to a couple of Chicago synagogues. You know, because Chicago synagogues are very much responsible for the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and whatever else (everything) now included in the War Upon the Terror. President Obama says he’s “very concerned” and will “keep using robot death drones to drop bombs on wedding parties in Pakistan, due to this serious threat to Liberty.” The important thing is how you will be further debased during any attempts at holiday travel. After all, toner cartridges with explosives inside them were FedEx’d from Yemen. Isn’t that an extremely good reason for your young children to be strip-searched and anally probed by morbidly obese high-school dropouts while you’re just trying to fly to Vermont for Christmas? Read more on Rabbi At Temple Targeted By Explosives Has Sane, Un-American Response…
  war all the time

Congress Responds To Growing Disgust With Afghanistan/Iraq Wars By Throwing Another $59 Billion At Them

If, like confused old ass-clown Richard Cohen at the Washington Post, you’ve never heard of the “WikiLeaks” or the “Internet,” this year’s biggest news story maybe didn’t really hit home. And if there’s a natural constituency of confused old ass-clowns outside the Washington Post‘s op-ed page, it’s the U.S. Capitol. That’s why the House decided 308-114 in a rare bipartisan vote to dump another $59 billion of U.S. debt on the lost wars in Afghanistan and Iraq — 108 Democrats and 12 Republicans had the spine to say No to the latest extra check to the Pentagon and its allies in Pakistan, the Taliban. Read more on Congress Responds To Growing Disgust With Afghanistan/Iraq Wars By Throwing Another $59 Billion At Them…
  war all the time

OH, DENBY’S STILL STINKING UP THE NPR SHOWS? Chronic masturbator and greedy day-trading halfwit David Denby continues to lie about his libel/slander against your Wonkette. Los Angeles Times book-blogger Carolyn Kellogg has an amusing update, and you can skip right ahead to 2:55 to see how Denby was telling more dumb lies on WNYC on Monday. What a bore. [LA Times/BuzzFeed/Jewcy/Time Out New York/Dallas Observer] Read more on …