You sure look proud, you swollen little vulgarian. We liked conservatives a lot better when they went to church and didn’t walk around in public flashing cartoon porn at everybody. Enjoy your life on welfare! [via Rumproast]

You know what’s not funny? Political news outlets trying to be funny. Stop it. This thing, above? This stupid attempt at a Fark photoshop or whatever? No. Stop it. Mark Halperin aka The Page, of TIME Magazine? Actually the opposite of funny. You are paid, presumably, to cover the news about Washington politics — information, details, that sort of thing. What the fuck, really? Will TIME just start making up cover stories? Have fake columnists and whatever? It’s Meta! MORE »

How many half-assed Sarah Palin costumes did you see last Halloween? Let’s remember all the dumb crap from 2008, in pictures, including this beautiful office shot by Miz Ginevra. MORE »

At least you people limit your Barack Obama fetish to tasteful artwork such as this naked Obama upon the Unicorn. But for America’s very lousy low-level criminals, there’s nothing like some cheap bootleg knockoff YES WE CAN t-shirt to really make a mugshot special. [The Smoking Gun]

(Every year on this rotten day, we repeat this beloved 9/11 feature, sort of like how “A Charlie Brown Christmas” plays on the teevee every December.) On this solemn day a half-dozen years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11 and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world that has killed some 700,000 people while finally restoring energy and defense stocks to the solid dividend payers favored by long-term investors. Also, “September the Eleventh” has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation, along with some truly stomach-turning old-fashioned American Huckersterism. MORE »

Remember 2007? It was so funny, with that Will Ferrell and the little cursing girl, and oh wow that Alanis Morissette singing that one black person’s song, and of course those lovable and hilarious LOLcats. Because Obama’s campaign just loves to plagiarize stuff that used to be funny, his sincere supporters decided to dig up the comedic memory of LOLcats and rape the corpse with a Crazy Little Thing Called Hope. MORE »

Earlier this year, LA scenester, Paris Hilton hanger-on, and occasional lame “fashion designer” Anand Jon was arrested and charged with 32 counts of sexual assault, mostly for raping or trying to rape underaged models. At left, former DNC head and current Clinton campaign head Terry McAuliffe poses with a little boy who supports Mr. Jon, in a photo taken at last month’s Friends of the South Asian American Communities gala in Beverly Hills, a celebration of Indian Independence and giving money to Democrats.

FOSAAC celebrates 60th Independence Day [News Asia]
The Designer Who Liked Models [NYT]

This is the worst PSA ever — now we really want to light up and invade Iraq again. [Copyranter]

On this solemn day a half-dozen years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11 and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world that has killed some 700,000 people while finally making energy and defense stocks the solid dividend payers favored by long-term investors. Also, “September the Eleventh” has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation, along with some truly stomach-turning old-fashioned American Huckersterism.

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The jobs report is in and everyone in America works at a shitty fast food place! So take advantage of the tight market and ask your shift manager for some health insurance, or at least a clean apron.

Will big U.S. job gains raise inflation risks? [MSNBC]

Good news, America — your kid no longer has to go school with the blacks!

The New York Times illustrated the ruling with a handy graphic that we’re pretty sure they’ll be getting a lot of use out of over the next couple years.

In fact, we’ve peeked into the future — and it’s after the jump!

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