Laugh all you want, but once the remaining people skinny enough to get on an airplane finally escape the doomed land of America, these slobs will actually have the whole place to themselves. Sarah Palin will be their “Mrs. Everyday President” or something and she’ll promise them dinner at Red Lobster once a year, but the rest of the time they have to stay in their tents, in the endless acid rain, for Jesus. [Plunderbund]

If you go to the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus show Over the Top, don’t expect Cirque du Soleil, because you’re not going to get it. You’re going to get what you paid $15 for — lousy tricks, uncoordinated dancing and cheesy dialogue. However, you will be enlightened with knowing where exactly Eastern European women are finding work opportunities in this tough environment. MORE »