pt uhh …

Is President Obama going around the White House residence smashing staffers’ fingers because his sheets didn’t have proper hospital corners? The only correct answer can be “yes,” because will you just look at what happened today: “A member of the White House household staff suffered an on-the-job injury Tuesday and may have lost some fingers.”

You can forgive people who take legal tax breaks like the homeowner’s mortgage deduction or child care deduction for saying they’re not using government social programs — most people would understand such a program to provide a benefit or payment or service directly to you, not just lower your tax burden. But a surprisingly (!) […]

People keep sending versions of this video today, and the videos keep popping up as “Removed by User,” so there’s something stinky going on, and we don’t even know if this a “congressman,” but maybe it is, and maybe there’s a reason these midget children are harassing him to the point where he firmly holds […]

UHH ...  3:13 pm February 22, 2010

by Ken Layne

UR DOING IT WRONG: “Americans who turn to terrorism and plot against the U.S. are now as big a concern as international terrorists, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said Sunday.” [AP via Cryptogon]

Where do the Teabaggers in Texas who are phone-banking Massachusetts households come up with this shit? “I just got a polling call about Martha Coakley. I also had to answer questions about gay marriage, Israel, and malaria, including this one: ‘In World War II, 6 million Jews were killed by the Nazis. Now 6 million […]

O’Reilly’s figured it out!

Do you people still check out the Drudge Report thing? Yeah we don’t really either. But Gawker tells us that nowadays Matt Drudge only posts articles about Barack Obama and Serena Williams and whatever other black people exist beating up white people and line judges everywhere, most likely on buses. Well, Matt’s given out your […]

Fox & Friends’ Brian Kilmeade made a terrible buffoon of himself on the television this morning! You know why the Olds get Dementia and Alzheimer’s, in America? This is why: “We are — we keep marrying other species and other ethnics and other … See, the problem is the Swedes have pure genes. Because they […]

$20 and a Wonkette Tee Shirt to whoever steals Michele Bachmann’s dog. Just like that.

Contextual ads sure can be a bitch sometimes. So can regular, contracted ads that the website owner approves! But this is not to make light of the very terrible thing that did happen in Binghamton. [AP]

UHH ...  1:55 pm March 9, 2009

World’s Worst Obama Paintings

by Ken Layne

Oh look, it’s … uhh, who the hell is this supposed to be? The Rock? Let’s say The Rock. Many more insanely terrible paintings can be found at this website linked here. [Bad Paintings of Barack Obama]

How could we let Thanksgiving end without sharing C.S.A. Colonel Saxby Chambliss and family’s warm regards? What a lovely surprise! And the children! They tell us to vote for their “Big Daddy,” gross. “Big Daddy” responds with a white-knuckled clench of the little girl’s breast. [YouTube]

Maybe it’s true! After all, Osama bin Laden would’ve never known about New York’s big Jewish population had Jesse not called it “Hymietown.” EVERYBODY WILL BE ISSUED NEW NAMES AT THE CONVENTIONS. [Morning Joe/MSNBC] UPDATE: Oh what the hell, Newell posted this like twelve hours earlier. Oh well, no way to take the post down […]