Chris Matthews is such a patriot for making America laugh last night before the speech from Bobby Jindal, his Enemy. After ranting about how much he hates Jindal earlier in the night, he “whispered” a comically audible “oh god” as Jindal was walking towards his podium. Chris Matthews is famous for coming from working-class Pennsylvania, so the best rationale for his hatred is probably nativism, especially towards Indians, who sneak into the country to steal medical doctor jobs from the poorest Americans. Nevertheless, Matthews plans to address the “slip” on Hardball tonight (or is it already on? We don’t watch cable news), and an NBC spokesman has offered a quick preview. His explanation centers on some stupid, nonsensical slavery jokes we made last night while mindlessly liveblogging — but he is serious! MORE »

Uh oh, it looks like last-minute emcee Chris “Chinese Bus” Matthews had some problems at last night’s Washington Press Club Foundation dinner. He was trying to talk, but everyone kept talking over him. Alas, he now knows what it’s like to be a guest on Hardball. A Wonkette operative tells the story, after the jump! MORE »

Chris Matthews’ son hopped on the “Chinese Bus” today from New York. Or was it from China? Or maybe he meant to say, let’s see, Chinatown bus? Only residents of a few states in the Northeast know what the Chinatown buses are, so now most of the country is wondering what Chris Matthews’ magical “Chinese Bus” is.

Oh Tweety. He gets a southern governor on his teevees, like Virginia’s Tim Kaine, and he asks him to “speak Southern.” When Tim Kaine says “I’m a Kansan by birth,” all Matthews can do is laugh. He is a monster.