Do you know what time it is?? It is HALF PAST SERIOUS O’CLOCK, right now and forever, on the HuffingtonPost.com. Yeah, you’re goddamn right someone embedded little countdown clocks that correspond to unpunished Congressional ethics violations somehow! “In the public interest, HuffPost is launching a congressional ethics clock to note the number of days (and hours and minutes and seconds) it’s been since a potential ethics violation has been probed or brought to the attention of Congress’s self-appointed watchdogs.” Uhh, and guess what Charlie Rangel? That clock embed is going to continue to tick until there are some big BIG CHANGES around here. Mmhmm. We’ll wait. [HuffPost]

• Proven untrustworthy Oath of Office-giver Joe Biden was sent to give the Oath of Office to Hillary Clinton. To no one on Earth’s surprise, he also sort of mocked this ceremony by giggling beforehand with reporters and the Clintons, again at the expense of Justice Roberts (the “Caroline Kennedy of Reading Properly.”) [Top of the Ticket]
• Oh Tom Daschle, you cad: Today is ironically the 96th birthday of when the government started collecting income tax! [RedState]
• Another Snow Day for DC school children. They will all spend the day writing letters to Barack Obama in the Washington Post, asking him to shake his Kenyan desert goddess statues for more precipitation. [Hit & Run]
• Obama’s stimulus bill contains secret preservatives that aim to fatten and hasten the ripening of America’s children. Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi will wait patiently. [Politico]
• Bill O’Reilly has declared WAR on the New York Times after some editorial called his views on immigration those of “nativism.” But it was only after looking up the definition of “nativism” that he declared this war, for that was the final straw. [Crooks and Liars]