Tag Archives: pt this guy again

  this guy again

Donald Trump Uses Term ‘Joke Candidate’ Without Referring To Self

The media seems to be reporting again that pissy jaundiced toddler Donald Trump has “announced” he is still considering a presidential bid as an independent, a thing he has been doing every couple of weeks ever since he dropped out of the Republican race in order to keep his awful teevee show. Why have the droll rantings of a vile charlatan once more been plucked from the ocean of political background noise to become “headline worthy?” Ha ha, the answer to that is probably a depressing doctoral thesis on American media, but for the moment let’s just say it’s because Donald Trump, cheap talking wig stand, is bizarrely accusing Ron Paul of being a “joke candidate” for possessing enough dignity to refuse to participate in Trump’s joke Republican debate. Read more on Donald Trump Uses Term ‘Joke Candidate’ Without Referring To Self…
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Andrew Breitbart Longing To Shoot The Next Person Who Insults Him

Screw Barack Obama and the pussy liberals with their “class warfare.” Conservative anger bear furry and professional Twitter troll Andrew Breitbart wants “warfare warfare,” because he is just murderously sick and tired of being called a homo by everyone, on Twitter. HOW DARE THESE PEOPLE. Andrew Breitbart is the world’s biggest victim, Andrew Breitbart in case you had forgotten about him during the time it took you to read those other words, Andrew Breitbart, and he is not afraid to “fire the first shot” in the bloody national civil war between conservatives and liberals that is about to start, tomorrow probably, over the mean things the Internet is saying about Andrew Breitbart. Bring it on, General Janeane Garofalo (?), you and your army of socialist space robots do not stand a chance. Video of Andrew Breitbart’s insane call to war, after the jump! Read more on Andrew Breitbart Longing To Shoot The Next Person Who Insults Him…
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Lieberman Whines Obama Not Offending Enough Muslims To Win 9/11

America’s most hated sagging senatorial sack of jowls and pus has dug another bilious canto of hate from his decaying bowels to cough into America’s face! Crusader warlord Joe Lieberman, this time: Obama is losing America’s wars on brown people because he refuses to formally call every violent extremist on the planet worth killing an “Islamist,” because extremists cannot be properly identified if they are not called terrible ragheads first. Is that so, O ye aging mass of war-flavored cancer cells? We suspect a decade of bloody conflict and child-murder probably “speaks louder than words” if Lieberman is worried Muslims don’t think America hates their religion, but maybe, says Joe, they are still not truly offended enough? Read more on Lieberman Whines Obama Not Offending Enough Muslims To Win 9/11…
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Chuck Norris Discovers UN Plot to Steal His Pistols Inside Gun Statue

Crusty paranoid sad sack Chuck Norris has uncovered evidence that the United Nations is actively plotting to break into his anger cave and boost his vast library of murder weapons (haha, get it?) in the form of Swedish artist Carl Fredrick Reutersward’s anti-violence sculpture of a .38 pistol tied in a knot, which is located at the UN headquarters. What kind of hot washed up action star voodoo did Chuck Norris have to visit on this statue to find this scandalous information? Did he roundhouse kick its sorry nuts off? Did he sodomize it with the Constitution? No! He just “looked at it.” BOO! Probably this is not even Chuck Norris, and just his pastor writing his rants again. Regardless, POLITICO for some unimaginably asinine reason decided to air his fever dreams in their op-ed space. Are they starting a comedy section? Read more on Chuck Norris Discovers UN Plot to Steal His Pistols Inside Gun Statue…
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Casey Anthony Trial Coverage Gives Rush Limbaugh Great Abortion Joke

Your Wonkette has been fastidiously trying to ignore anything related to this bizarre, sad Casey Anthony case, not only here but in life, because once upon a time there was such a thing as an “OJ Simpson trial,” which set everyone a very high bar for 24-hour reality crime shows that probably will never be touched. We are purists, sue us. But OKAY, we will weigh in, since bloated maggot Rush Limbaugh is humping America’s face with slime about abortion again. Here is Rush’s advice to the silly liberals who are upset about 2-year-old Caylee Anthony’s death: “When does the death of a child bother them? …just tell yourselves that [Anthony] just waited a couple of years to get an abortion and you’ll feel better.” Aha! Read more on Casey Anthony Trial Coverage Gives Rush Limbaugh Great Abortion Joke…
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Joe Lieberman To Be Next Scott Brown (But Double-Naked)

Here’s human corn-poopie Joe Lieberman musing over which political party he’ll choose to ruin next/again. At the end he devotes a bit of fappery towards becoming a “good old-fashioned New England moderate Republican,” like they used to have back in the ’50s and ’60s, until they voted to give black people basic Constitutional rights and were kicked out forever. (Have fun, Scott Brown!) Joementum ’12: Making Anachronisms Die All Over Again. [Think Progress] Read more on Joe Lieberman To Be Next Scott Brown (But Double-Naked)…
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Harold Ford Junior Gay-Marries Gay Marriage

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA: Harold Ford Junior, who voted for a constitutional ban on gay marriage while representing Tennessee in the House, is of course now an avid and lifetime supporter of both gay marriage AND civil unions, whatever that means? “I love you youze fags,” Ford told New York voters today. [Ben Smith] Read more on Harold Ford Junior Gay-Marries Gay Marriage…
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Joe Lieberman, Worst Person In History Of Universe, Part Nine Million

That sure was a friendly move of Joe Lieberman yesterday, on dance-y silver monster David Gregory’s Meet The Press, to go back on his pledge to support the Medicare buy-in proposal without telling the Senate leadership first, so as to destroy happiness once and for all. It’s especially jarring since a mere THREE MONTHS AGO he supported — and this is in a Connecticut newspaper, in print! — a goddamn freaking Medicare buy-in as an alternative to a public option. YOU KNOW THE EXACT THING. Of course why wouldn’t he bother moving the goalpost further and further into universal self-immolation & total implosion when nobody punishes him for anything? He just loves death, so much. Read more on Joe Lieberman, Worst Person In History Of Universe, Part Nine Million…
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Vaguely Heterosexual S.C. Lieutenant Governor Calls For Sanford Resignation

Definitely not gay at all South Carolina Lieutenant Governor André Bauer, who has pledged not to run for governor if sex-having Gov. Mark Sanford resigns, so as to avoid any trace of string-pulling, has added some Modifications to this pledge. He has called on Sanford to resign IMMEDIATELY, but if he hasn’t done so within a month, then he will allow himself to run for governor. André Bauer is now praying to his gay French god (Howard Dean?) that Sanford resigns in 32 days, in which case there will be no evidence whatsoever of string-pulling or back-room deals. Not that we have any idea what this gaysack could offer Mark Sanford in exchange for a timely resignation. Anyway. [The State] Read more on Vaguely Heterosexual S.C. Lieutenant Governor Calls For Sanford Resignation…
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Levi Johnston Quite The Conversationalist In Teevee Interview

Bristol Palin’s ex-lover Levi Johnston — clad in his finest Kmart church outfit (from a kit) and sporting a 13-year-old’s pencil mustache — will appear on television’s Tyra Banks show on Monday, and this preview clip on the show’s website is worth watching. “Did you use protection, Levi?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Sometimes.” [Tyra Banks] Read more on Levi Johnston Quite The Conversationalist In Teevee Interview…
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Obama Sex Chat Breaks Internet

Guess who’s doing a Live Streaming Video Internet sexytime chat right now? Barack Obama! Jay Leno must’ve been all booked up today. It took your Wonkette about a dozen tries to get the White House site to load, but now it is working, finally. So, if you’re one of the 5-1/2 million people on unemployment currently watching Obama on this web thingy on the Internets because you have nothing else to do and Dish TV cut off your shows, well have fun. Maybe we will “liveblog” a “live chat,” maybe? Nah. But you can go search the submitted questions for stuff like “marijuana” — try “marijauna,” too. [White House] Read more on Obama Sex Chat Breaks Internet…
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Liveblogging More of This Crap (Obama’s Important Thing On TeeVee, Part II)

This is what it was like in Soviet USSR Russia, we bet! The guy, on the teevee, every night. Five year plans, advancing upon the enemy stronghold, great progress made in the Martian Dirt Wars, etc. We don’t know FOR SURE about this, as we arrived in the USSR about two weeks after it officially ended — this is true! — and by then it was all tits & death metal on the RUBIN black-and-white set. Anyway, is the recession over yet? Has Komrade Obama talked it away, while his douche-bots in the East Room try to act like they understand anything beyond do-nuts and Twitter? Read more on Liveblogging More of This Crap (Obama’s Important Thing On TeeVee, Part II)…
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Blagojevich Amuses His Neighbors

Here’s some “street video” of our nation’s own Gandhi/MLK, Rod Blagojevich, just chillin’ with his homies, outside his home. He yells “Yes We Can” in Spanish! A child (fake) asks if Rod will play hoops with the kids this summer! He quickly exploits this child for a photo op! It is a valuable fucking thing, this guy’s never-ending fall from grace. MARK OUR WORDS, Rod Blagojevich will compete on Dancing With the Stars. [YouTube] Read more on Blagojevich Amuses His Neighbors…
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Blago’s Head Attorney Quits, Because Client Is Insane

Attorney Edward Genson has abruptly quit his role leading the Gov. Blago defense team two days before the idiot’s impeachment trial begins in the Illinois Senate. Instead of listing the standard “personal reasons” or a professional conflict of interest, Genson cites that JESUS CHRIST HOW DO YOU WORK WITH THIS IDIOT: “I never require a client to do what I say, but I do require them to at least listen.” Read more on Blago’s Head Attorney Quits, Because Client Is Insane…