pt this guy again
Donald Trump Uses Term ‘Joke Candidate’ Without Referring To Self
The media seems to be reporting again that pissy jaundiced toddler Donald Trump has “announced” he is still considering a presidential bid as an independent, a thing he has been doing every couple of weeks ever since he dropped out of the Republican race in order to keep his awful teevee show. Why have the [...]
Chuck Norris Discovers UN Plot to Steal His Pistols Inside Gun Statue
Crusty paranoid sad sack Chuck Norris has uncovered evidence that the United Nations is actively plotting to break into his anger cave and boost his vast library of murder weapons (haha, get it?) in the form of Swedish artist Carl Fredrick Reutersward’s anti-violence sculpture of a .38 pistol tied in a knot, which is located at [...]
Casey Anthony Trial Coverage Gives Rush Limbaugh Great Abortion Joke
Your Wonkette has been fastidiously trying to ignore anything related to this bizarre, sad Casey Anthony case, not only here but in life, because once upon a time there was such a thing as an “OJ Simpson trial,” which set everyone a very high bar for 24-hour reality crime shows that probably will never be [...]
Joe Lieberman To Be Next Scott Brown (But Double-Naked)
Here’s human corn-poopie Joe Lieberman musing over which political party he’ll choose to ruin next/again. At the end he devotes a bit of fappery towards becoming a “good old-fashioned New England moderate Republican,” like they used to have back in the ’50s and ’60s, until they voted to give black people basic Constitutional rights and [...]
Harold Ford Junior Gay-Marries Gay Marriage
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA: Harold Ford Junior, who voted for a constitutional ban on gay marriage while representing Tennessee in the House, is of course now an avid and lifetime supporter of both gay marriage AND civil unions, whatever that means? “I love you youze fags,” Ford told New York voters today. [Ben Smith]
Joe Lieberman, Worst Person In History Of Universe, Part Nine Million
That sure was a friendly move of Joe Lieberman yesterday, on dance-y silver monster David Gregory’s Meet The Press, to go back on his pledge to support the Medicare buy-in proposal without telling the Senate leadership first, so as to destroy happiness once and for all. It’s especially jarring since a mere THREE MONTHS AGO [...]
Vaguely Heterosexual S.C. Lieutenant Governor Calls For Sanford Resignation
Definitely not gay at all South Carolina Lieutenant Governor André Bauer, who has pledged not to run for governor if sex-having Gov. Mark Sanford resigns, so as to avoid any trace of string-pulling, has added some Modifications to this pledge. He has called on Sanford to resign IMMEDIATELY, but if he hasn’t done so within [...]
Levi Johnston Quite The Conversationalist In Teevee Interview
Bristol Palin’s ex-lover Levi Johnston — clad in his finest Kmart church outfit (from a kit) and sporting a 13-year-old’s pencil mustache — will appear on television’s Tyra Banks show on Monday, and this preview clip on the show’s website is worth watching. “Did you use protection, Levi?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” “Really?” “Yeah” [...]
Blagojevich Amuses His Neighbors
Here’s some “street video” of our nation’s own Gandhi/MLK, Rod Blagojevich, just chillin’ with his homies, outside his home. He yells “Yes We Can” in Spanish! A child (fake) asks if Rod will play hoops with the kids this summer! He quickly exploits this child for a photo op! It is a valuable fucking thing, [...]
Blago’s Head Attorney Quits, Because Client Is Insane
Attorney Edward Genson has abruptly quit his role leading the Gov. Blago defense team two days before the idiot’s impeachment trial begins in the Illinois Senate. Instead of listing the standard “personal reasons” or a professional conflict of interest, Genson cites that JESUS CHRIST HOW DO YOU WORK WITH THIS IDIOT: “I never require a [...]
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