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Tag: pt this guy again

Donald Trump Uses Term ‘Joke Candidate’ Without Referring To Self

The media seems to be reporting again that pissy jaundiced toddler Donald Trump has "announced" he is still considering a presidential bid as an independent, a thing he has been doing every couple of weeks ever since he...

Andrew Breitbart Longing To Shoot The Next Person Who Insults Him

Screw Barack Obama and the pussy liberals with their "class warfare." Conservative anger bear furry and professional Twitter troll Andrew Breitbart wants "warfare warfare," because he is just murderously sick and tired of being called a homo by everyone,...

Lieberman Whines Obama Not Offending Enough Muslims To Win 9/11

America's most hated sagging senatorial sack of jowls and pus has dug another bilious canto of hate from his decaying bowels to cough into America's face! Crusader warlord Joe Lieberman, this time: Obama is losing America's wars on brown...

Chuck Norris Discovers UN Plot to Steal His Pistols Inside Gun Statue

Crusty paranoid sad sack Chuck Norris has uncovered evidence that the United Nations is actively plotting to break into his anger cave and boost his vast library of murder weapons (haha, get it?) in the form of Swedish artist...

Casey Anthony Trial Coverage Gives Rush Limbaugh Great Abortion Joke

Your Wonkette has been fastidiously trying to ignore anything related to this bizarre, sad Casey Anthony case, not only here but in life, because once upon a time there was such a thing as an "OJ Simpson trial," which...

Joe Lieberman To Be Next Scott Brown (But Double-Naked)

Here's human corn-poopie Joe Lieberman musing over which political party he'll choose to ruin next/again. At the end he devotes a bit of fappery towards becoming a "good old-fashioned New England moderate Republican," like they used to have back...

Harold Ford Junior Gay-Marries Gay Marriage

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA: Harold Ford Junior, who voted for a constitutional ban on gay marriage while representing Tennessee in the House, is of course now an avid and lifetime supporter of both gay marriage AND civil unions, whatever that means? "I...

Joe Lieberman, Worst Person In History Of Universe, Part Nine Million

That sure was a friendly move of Joe Lieberman yesterday, on dance-y silver monster David Gregory's Meet The Press, to go back on his pledge to support the Medicare buy-in proposal without telling the Senate leadership first, so as...

Vaguely Heterosexual S.C. Lieutenant Governor Calls For Sanford Resignation

Definitely not gay at all South Carolina Lieutenant Governor André Bauer, who has pledged not to run for governor if sex-having Gov. Mark Sanford resigns, so as to avoid any trace of string-pulling, has added some Modifications to this...

Levi Johnston Quite The Conversationalist In Teevee Interview

Bristol Palin's ex-lover Levi Johnston -- clad in his finest Kmart church outfit (from a kit) and sporting a 13-year-old's pencil mustache -- will appear on television's Tyra Banks show on Monday, and this preview clip on the show's...

Obama Sex Chat Breaks Internet

Guess who's doing a Live Streaming Video Internet sexytime chat right now? Barack Obama! Jay Leno must've been all booked up today. It took your Wonkette about a dozen tries to get the White House site to load, but...

Liveblogging More of This Crap (Obama’s Important Thing On TeeVee, Part II)

This is what it was like in Soviet USSR Russia, we bet! The guy, on the teevee, every night. Five year plans, advancing upon the enemy stronghold, great progress made in the Martian Dirt Wars, etc. We don't know...

Blagojevich Amuses His Neighbors

Here's some "street video" of our nation's own Gandhi/MLK, Rod Blagojevich, just chillin' with his homies, outside his home. He yells "Yes We Can" in Spanish! A child (fake) asks if Rod will play hoops with the kids this...

Blago’s Head Attorney Quits, Because Client Is Insane

Attorney Edward Genson has abruptly quit his role leading the Gov. Blago defense team two days before the idiot's impeachment trial begins in the Illinois Senate. Instead of listing the standard "personal reasons" or a professional conflict of interest,...