Are you all geared up for the upcoming State Policy Network (SPN) Annual Meeting in Asheville, North Carolina? Bro come on! The SPN is a network of wingnut think tanks and organizations throughout the country that helps “advance a free society by providing leadership development, management training and networking opportunities for think tank professionals and by promoting strategic partnerships among market-oriented organizations.” STRATEGY, MARKETS, NETWORKS, TRAINING, LEADERSHIP, MANAGEMENT, CUM, COCKS, DOLLA DOLLA BILLS. If you are that particular flavor of “douche” that specializes in lacking self-awareness, you belong to the SPN! Let’s see what rad parties some of the SPN members will be throwing during their annual meeting… oh look, a Toga Party! Hilarious forwarded invite, below. MORE »

“WASHINGTON – Former President George W. Bush took a step closer Thursday to establishing an ‘action-oriented think tank’ alongside his future presidential library by naming James K. Glassman, the longtime journalist and former administration official, as its founding executive director.” This post is complete. [NYT via Matt Yglesias]

Tuesday, September 1: Always eager to offer a positive view of mankind, the Libertarians have declared us to be greedy, lazy people who act out of self-interest with complete disregard for society at large. This, and our desire to own homes, pretty much sums up their take on why we’re in this financial crisis. But don’t worry, the Cato Institute has found a way to overcome our shortcomings and will be presenting its riveting solutions tomorrow at 12PM. [Cato Institute]
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FOR WHATEVER REASON, the thinkers over at the Brookings Institution have declared August to be “think free month.’” Sure it’s hot, but there’s still plenty of thinking to be done — we have yet to reach our potential as a socialist country and you KNOW we can do it. To see what the Brookings kids were doing instead of hosting events full of thinking people, we snuck into their headquarters, only to find them lounging in their cafeteria, eating food that looked like it came from the Rest Home. MORE »

Monday, July 27: Have no fear, because the Heritage Foundation, courtesy of an event with know-it-all Jim DeMint, will rescue us from our decline into Socialism! Phew. Tonight, Ol’ Waterloo himself explains that we can “Save Freedom” (we recommend 1-qt Ziploc bags in the freezer; it keeps for months) by keeping a close eye on government spending (which works as long as the president isn’t a Republican) and an even closer eye on God. MORE »

Here’s your weekly think tank event roundup:
Tuesday, July 21: Running for president didn’t seem to pan out for Howard Dean, and neither did running the DNC. To cut his losses, Dr. Dean is focusing on a hot button issue, health care. On Tuesday at 12:30PM, he discusses why health care reform must happen now, in accordance with the release of his new book about health care, which will make America healthier, right? MORE »

Here’s your weekly think tank event roundup:
Monday, July 13: The National Endowment for Democracy, true to what it was put on this earth to think about, is hosting an event today that looks at how we can foster democracy in oil rich countries.  The demand for oil seems to bring about dictatorships in these countries instead of everyone’s favorite type of government, democracy!  We wonder if the thinkers at NED get a kickback every time a country becomes more democratic ….
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Here’s your weekly think tank event roundup:
Tuesday, July 8: Of all of our failing wars, the War on Drugs may be the one that we can actually manage to win –  that is, if we no longer refer to it as a “war.” On Tuesday at noon, the Cato Institute explains how this semantic change will enable us to overhaul drug laws so we can smoke freely with Bob Barr while eating foods loaded with trans fats.  Libertarians really want nothing but the best for America. MORE »

Here’s your weekly think tank event roundup:
Tuesday, June 30: Some folks at the Woodrow Wilson Center are curious about what exactly the Iranian presidential elections tell us.  Well, we’re not sure the best way to phrase this, but MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD.  All news attention and all tweets must be focused on his passing and what this means for man kind as we know it. Caring about freedom and democracy is so last week.  If you’re actually still curious about Iran, check out this event Tuesday at noon.  MORE »

Monday, June 22: Even though you can get a pretty thorough and in-depth look at what’s happening in Iran via the godsend that is Twitter, the New America Foundation thought you might like to hear from the “experts” about what’s happening and what we need to do. Their little two hour pow-wow starting today at 3:30PM will not produce any tangible results, but you may learn a thing or two about lawlessness, corruption, and how to avoid getting tasered if a big, bad dictator ever threatens your freedom. MORE »

Wednesday, June 17: Feeling oddly confident that Cheney won’t be vindicated by a catastrophic terror attack before Independence Day? Well that’s because it’s “Protect America Month,” at least according to the Heritage Foundation. (And no, we don’t think they’re referring to increasing funding for sex education). Start your Think Tank Week on Wednesday at 10:30AM when Heritage assesses the geopolitical landscape (yes, the whole thing) and offers expert advice on how we can keep this fine nation safe. Get your rifles ready, because we’re only a few weeks away from “bend over for terrorists month.” MORE »