Tag Archives: pt there will be blood

  there will be blood

Vice-Presidential Debate Live-Bloog: Paul ‘The Kid’ Ryan Takes On Old Handsome Joe

What’s this, Sara Benincasa is joining us tonight, in our domicile? Does she have hair to braid? We will soon find out! In the meantime, here is the first and last nice thing we will most likely say about Paul Ryan tonight: Paul Ryan sends copies of NOBUMMER’s birth certificate to any constituent who writes him all “WHAR KENYA WHAR,” and even before Obummer released his long-form certificate, Ryan’s office sent to those same “folks” a copy of the Hawaiian registrar’s statement about the Communist usurper’s live birth. And we think that is terrific, for reals! (GENTLEMANLY.) (We mean us.) (We’re done now though.) (Don’t worry.) (WARBLOG!!!!!) Also too, before we start, here’s your damn drinking game: If you are in California, Washington, DC, New York, or any of the other civilized states, smoke some legal marijuana before the debate commences. As to the rest of you, we will occasionally yell at you DRINK for any or no reason at all. (But seriously, if Joey calls “Mr.” Ryan “junior” or “sonny” or “kiddo” or “boy,” you may do the Hokey Pokey and finish the bottle in feral joy.) And that’s it! We can’t say to drink if OHJB says “God love ya” or talks about Scranton or the Violence Against Women Act, or cries when telling the story of his family, or says “literally” about something figurative, or is magnificently romantic to Dr. Jill, because we will not be liable for your alcohol poisoning. So, you know, just use your worst judgment, and we’ll see you at nine. Read more on Vice-Presidential Debate Live-Bloog: Paul ‘The Kid’ Ryan Takes On Old Handsome Joe…
  there will be blood

Here Is Your New Occupy Wall Street Poster Of A Unicorn Biting Pepper-Spray Cop’s Head Off

What it says, dudes. So you know how all the liberal media are always whining, “BUT WE DON’T KNOW WHAT OCCUPY IS FOOOOOR,” and you tell them shut up of course you know what Occupy is for? And that is to END THE FED and IMPEACH OBAMA because WAR CRIMES and also I WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE ‘LESSER OF TWO EVILS,’ at which point your editrix punches her little Occupy brother in the face (no, not that little brother, a different little brother) and explains that a Nader vote carries with it real-life consequences, mostly in the form of a lifetime of shame. Read more on Here Is Your New Occupy Wall Street Poster Of A Unicorn Biting Pepper-Spray Cop’s Head Off…