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THERE ARE NO HAIRBRUSHES IN PRISON  7:59 pm March 14, 2012

Rod Blagojevich Not So Proud He Won’t Offer Last News Event Before Prison

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Corrupt former Illinois governor and human black hole of shame Rod Blagojevich is going away to federal prison tomorrow for fourteen years, for trying to sell Barack Obama’s old Senate seat. But why are we even telling you this, since every person in America has been carefully counting down the number of days to Blago’s [...]

THERE ARE NO HAIRBRUSHES IN PRISON  1:58 pm December 7, 2011

Weepy Rod Blagojevich To Rot In Prison For 14 Years

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

The end of the comedy career of noted political humorist Rod Blagojevich has finally come as he was sentenced to 168 months in jail today, because America has lost its taste for jokes, rampant male sexiness and Elvis impersonators in one fell swoop. Blaggy has had many valuable fucking contributions to humor, such as the [...]

THERE ARE NO HAIRBRUSHES IN PRISON  6:47 pm June 3, 2011

Blagojevich Probably Would Have Killed Bin Laden If Anyone Had Let Him

by Wonkette Jr.

Shameless bozo Rod Blagojevich, on trial for trying to sell Obama’s Senate seat, apparently read news of Osama bin Laden’s May 2 death in the only light that Rod Blagojevich can read any news story: by imagining the words “Rod Blagojevich” somewhere in the headline. Would everyone like to consider the possibility that if Rod [...]


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