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Rand Paul Just Wants To Add a ‘Life Begins at Conception’ Plank To This Flood Insurance Bill, What’s the Problem?
The Senate is trying to pass a flood insurance bill, and all Rand Paul wants to do is improve the quality of flood insurance that Americans nationwide will enjoy in the years ahead. Specifically, he wants to add a lil’ Life at Conception Act, which would “ensure equal protection for right to life of each [...]
It’s Farm Bill Time, And All Amendments Are Perfectly Reasonable & Germane
It’s farm bill time in the Senate, with the draft bill out of committee, debate open, and hundreds of amendments pouring in, all lined up just in time beat the June 30 deadline! The way they used to resolve all of these competing amendments and regional interests and endless lobbyist demands in the end was [...]
WEDNESDAY… WAR! Democrats May Possibly Consider Making GOP Actually Filibuster, Overnight
Roll in the cots, break out the pissin’ jugs, and refrigerate your “second dinner” of cold cuts and potato salad! For the Democrats are considering keeping the Senate in session all night, or at least until the mean old Republicans stop yapping about socialism, or at least agree to open debate on “FinReg,” which they [...]
Joe Lieberman Shut Up Jesus Christ…
Oh crap, problem guy’s making problems again, or at least a Modest Fuss. We’ve read his statement (WHY? WHY?) and can already envision the upcoming compromise that the White House will agree to immediately.
Senators Upset About Not Having To Work Afternoons
The Senate Republicans. What arcane rule that shouldn’t exist did they pull out of Judd Gregg’s anus this time? Well, apparently you can deny unanimous consent at the outset of a new session and stop all Senate proceedings at 2 p.m. The Republicans are doing this because they are children who govern out of pique. [...]
Reconciliation Will Be Scarier Than One Million Halloweens
Hooray, liberals, we did it! That sucker Obama was all “I’m not doing reconciliation” then “Well, look, here are the facts” and then finally “I will pursue reconciliation.” Now, let’s see how this process will play out under Senate rules, shouldn’t be too burdensome… GAHHH.
Terrible Demon Tom Coburn Offers To Cover God’s Medicaid Expansion Beyond 2019 If He Just Kills Robert Byrd
The always admirable Sen. Dick Durbin — Barack Obama’s white father — is super upset with the behavior of this health care debate’s most shameless Senate C-Streeter, Tom Coburn, a dick. He is demanding that Coburn “explain” an earlier prayer call for a Democratic senator to miss tonight’s 1 a.m. cloture vote, SOMEHOW. Hmm. Which [...]
Someone Get Claire McCaskill A Cocoa
Poor self-important freshman Senator Claire McCaskill. She’s been in the Senate for nearly three whole years now and it’s made her tired and sad and maybe everyone should just give Congress a break, because what’s most important to the American people is that every current senator gets re-elected: “I don’t think anyone’s excited about doing [...]
Our Long National Nightmare… Will Now Be Merged With Another Senate Bill, Debated On The Senate Floor, Voted On, Merged With An Also-Debated/Merged House Bill In Conference, Voted On In Both Houses…
AHHHH. 14-9. So long, terrible Senate Finance Committee! Back to your cornfields, Grassley! Back to your barbwired condo in Hell, Baucus! Back to whatever there is in Wyoming, Enzi! HAHAHAHH– oh god, they have to draft and pass a climate change bill too, don’t they? RATS. As far as health care goes, though: congratulations! Now, [...]
Max Baucus’ New Bipartisan Bill Despised By Every Single Republican, Dead Or Alive
It’s Christmas in the Senate Finance Committee! Max Baucus has crafted his latest proposal for bipartisan health care reform by doing what responsible centrists always do: lopping off a random $100 billion from the price tag and declaring, “this is bipartisan, now.” It features all sorts of lovely concessions on significant planks of the earlier [...]
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