There were a LOT of things happening on our National Mall this weekend, most of which involved masses of people erratically circling trees or hot dog stands or monuments, pausing briefly to bump into you, and then moving on to annoy someone else. As frustrating as it was trying to beat even a moderately direct path through this nonsense, it was kind of worth it to see a bunch of weird hipsters whip out their pillows and start pummeling each other. MORE »

In a startling case of life imitating Blingee, several characters marched straight out of Wonkette’s most recent photo contest and onto the streets of Georgetown last night. The fully furred Chewbacca and, uh, we actually aren’t sure what that other one is, explained to your intern that they were dressed up for a birthday party. MORE »

Hark, a cretin! Wonkette operative “Life Law Libido” snapped this horrifying shot of some douche driving a Japanese Yuppie Car plastered with a very prominent “SARAH PALIN 2012″ sticker. Why would a foreign-CRV-driving latte-sipping urban dandy support a dipshit snowbilly grifter like Sarah Palin? Because, as you can see from the row of window stickers just above the spare-tire cover, this person has ducks for children. So tragic, yet brave.

Wonkette operative “Josh” snapped this picture of your president’s luxury car brigade outside his building last night: “Obama’s limos just filled up at the shitty BP by my apartment,” he writes. “At 13th & N NW. Usually the redoubt of hookers and bums. They filled up premium and boy does that beast rumble!”

Wonkette Operative “Matt N.” has truly witnessed horror, in the supposed new socialist caliphate of the District of Communism: Real truck nutz, hanging off a goddamned trailer hitch, as intended by the manufacturer. MORE »

Here, once again from our Wonkette operative “Danielle,” is a frightening truckload of Jesus corpses, being delivered to the FCC headquarters. Send your scenes from the office window to tips@wonkette.com, subject line THE HORROR I’VE WITNESSED.

Here’s the troubling photographic evidence of whatever’s happening, at this building, the Anti-Immigration Headquarters and/or Dept. of Education at 12th & D SW. It appears the angry Latinos have been eaten by a monstrous American Flag. Our operative “Danielle W.” says a few protesters escaped, blocked some traffic because why not, and are now headed for “the waterfront.” CLICK “MORE” FOR AN EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT. MORE »