Tag Archives: pt the horror you’ve witnessed

  the horror you've witnessed

Screw the Cherry Blossoms, Here’s the Pillow Fight

There were a LOT of things happening on our National Mall this weekend, most of which involved masses of people erratically circling trees or hot dog stands or monuments, pausing briefly to bump into you, and then moving on to annoy someone else. As frustrating as it was trying to beat even a moderately direct path through this nonsense, it was kind of worth it to see a bunch of weird hipsters whip out their pillows and start pummeling each other. Read more on Screw the Cherry Blossoms, Here’s the Pillow Fight…
  the horror you've witnessed

And Furries Shall Walk the Streets

In a startling case of life imitating Blingee, several characters marched straight out of Wonkette’s most recent photo contest and onto the streets of Georgetown last night. The fully furred Chewbacca and, uh, we actually aren’t sure what that other one is, explained to your intern that they were dressed up for a birthday party. Read more on And Furries Shall Walk the Streets…
  the horror you've witnessed

Photographic Proof That CPAC’s Back In Town

Hark, a cretin! Wonkette operative “Life Law Libido” snapped this horrifying shot of some douche driving a Japanese Yuppie Car plastered with a very prominent “SARAH PALIN 2012” sticker. Why would a foreign-CRV-driving latte-sipping urban dandy support a dipshit snowbilly grifter like Sarah Palin? Because, as you can see from the row of window stickers just above the spare-tire cover, this person has ducks for children. So tragic, yet brave. Read more on Photographic Proof That CPAC’s Back In Town…
  the horror you've witnessed

Actual Truck Nutz Spotted In DC

Wonkette Operative “Matt N.” has truly witnessed horror, in the supposed new socialist caliphate of the District of Communism: Real truck nutz, hanging off a goddamned trailer hitch, as intended by the manufacturer. Read more on Actual Truck Nutz Spotted In DC…
  the horror you've witnessed

Jesus Christ is WHAT?

Here, once again from our Wonkette operative “Danielle,” is a frightening truckload of Jesus corpses, being delivered to the FCC headquarters. Send your scenes from the office window to tips@wonkette.com, subject line THE HORROR I’VE WITNESSED. Read more on Jesus Christ is WHAT?…
  the horror you've witnessed

Giant Flag Eats Brave Immigration Protesters

Here’s the troubling photographic evidence of whatever’s happening, at this building, the Anti-Immigration Headquarters and/or Dept. of Education at 12th & D SW. It appears the angry Latinos have been eaten by a monstrous American Flag. Our operative “Danielle W.” says a few protesters escaped, blocked some traffic because why not, and are now headed for “the waterfront.” CLICK “MORE” FOR AN EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT. Read more on Giant Flag Eats Brave Immigration Protesters…