Tag Archives: pt the horror

  the horror

Rick Perry Wants You To Be His Submissive This Christmas

You guys all getting your Holiday Freak on yet? Dressing up in your leathers? Having your labes snipped? Gettin’ weird and freaky up in it, maybe with a dwarf, and a pizza? Well Rick Perry is, bitchez. Not only does the Texas governor want to top you, he wants the Messiah all up in his freaky-deaky-threeway. Because who better to hold you down, with his muscles and stuff, than hot ripped buff Jesus? Read more on Rick Perry Wants You To Be His Submissive This Christmas…
  the horror

Who Will Be Elected As New House Speaker Once John Boehner Is Torn Apart And Boiled In Oil?

It seems clear that sad sot Speaker of the House John “Whiskeydick” Boehner has not had a firm grip on his “caucus” in the two years since Sarah Palin screeching about death panels sent a pack of wild tarded dogs to Congress. No matter how hard Boehner has tried to tack “crazy,” his barely leashed idiots know that he is congenitally a Wall Street, pro-business Republican who does not actually want to bankrupt the country, because bankrupting the country is bad for his fellows in the boardroom. The fact that John Boehner does not actually want to bankrupt the country, of course, makes him a Communist, because “logic.” Well, your Louie Gohmerts and your Somebody Amashes and whomever are not thrilled, and it is only a matter of time before chunks of bloody John Boehner flesh are piled in a heap at NRA Headquarters. Read more on Who Will Be Elected As New House Speaker Once John Boehner Is Torn Apart And Boiled In Oil?…
  the horror

Daily Caller Shocker: Guy Who Worked For Union Was ‘Required’ To Do Union Stuff

Sorry, union thugs of the SEIU, but Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller has got your number! And that is that you forced people who worked for you as union organizers to perform work towards attaining your stated political goals, by canvassing and stuff. Is that even legal??? Can we get James O’Keefe’s Magickal Camera to go and document the atrocities? In a case that could have wide-ranging implications for the political future of the Service Employees International Union, a former SEIU organizer told a right-to-work group and a best-selling author recently that the union forced him and other workers to volunteer their time for Democratic political campaigns. On a video segment provided exclusively to The Daily Caller, the organizer says he and other SEIU staff “had to do some political work. We were required as staff to do that.” Oh shit you guys. Game: Changed! Read more on Daily Caller Shocker: Guy Who Worked For Union Was ‘Required’ To Do Union Stuff…
  the horror

CNN Tells Of Harrowing Dangers Mitt Romney Faced In 1968 France (While Avoiding The Vietnam War)

Perhaps you thought Mitt Romney’s time in France, in 1968, while raking in Dick Cheney-level numbers of military deferments from serving in Vietnam, was all sunshine and brie. Well CNN’s “Romney Revealed” has another think coming at you! “In 1968, France was a dangerous place to be for a 21-year-old American, but Mitt Romney was right in the middle of it,” says Gloria Borger. You guys, there were “protests, and there were marches”! There weren’t napalmings or burning villages or fraggings or snipers, but there were definitely marches! Read more on CNN Tells Of Harrowing Dangers Mitt Romney Faced In 1968 France (While Avoiding The Vietnam War)…
  the horror

Master Of Terror Stephen King Rains Buckets Of Blood On Poor Rich Folks

Stephen King (“Carrie,” “Cujo” “The Michele Bachmann Story”) is a pretty rich dude, and he has some thoughts on other rich dudes and taxes. He makes a gentle argument, comparing hardly anyone to “old, dead dogshit,” so he cannot be a regular correspondent for Your Wonkette (also, he only quotes the motto of the Church of the Subgenius once). But he can still get an excerpt! Read more on Master Of Terror Stephen King Rains Buckets Of Blood On Poor Rich Folks…
  the horror

Louisiana Foster Kids Saved From Horror of Loving Homes

BATON ROUGE, LA – A local House Committee in Baton Rouge saved the last little pocket of American innocence on Tuesday. A proposal that would have allowed gay couples and straight unmarried couples and other ungodless folk (Wiccans?) to adopt children together in Louisiana has been defeated, with the House Civil Law and Procedure Committee voting 9-2 against HB 1081. Foster kids have it really good and the thought of subjecting them to a loving household without a marriage certificate is unthinkable. To make matters worse, passage of this bill would have forced some children to live in a house where parents have the same genitals! Who is the sicko responsible for trying to hurt these kids? It is Rep. Jared Brossett, known child hater and endorser of same-genital co-existence (Democrat). Read more on Louisiana Foster Kids Saved From Horror of Loving Homes…
  the horror

Watch The New Conservative ‘Spoof’ Movie Trailer!

Here’s the trailer for An American Carol, which was first shown to the world on the O’Reilly Factor last night. Movie trailers rarely debut on Bill O’Reilly’s terrible show, but this is a conservative “spoof” movie starring the few Republican actors in Hollywood. The film’s target is the American Left as personified by Michael Moore, the fat clown no one has ever liked, except maybe 4-5 anonymous Internet commenters for a single week in 2003. The plot: Moore is trying to eliminate the Fourth of July holiday! But Gen. Frasier Crane simply cannot let him get away with this. The film is expected to gross $750 trillion dollars at the domestic box office.[YouTube] Read more on Watch The New Conservative ‘Spoof’ Movie Trailer!…