Tag: pt the homosexuals!

Marcus Bachmann Asks Gay Guy to Pay For Services Not Performed

Your Wonkette reporter of homosexuals is very sad to report that Republican presidential candidate and famous Congresslady Michele Bachmann's silver-maned heterosexual dreamboat needs some cash. $150, to be exact. No, it is not for a beautiful new wig or...

Rick Santorum Exposes Horrors of Gay Marrying With Boozey Metaphors

Hello, everyone, it's your Reporter of the Homosexuals, risen from the ashes like the phoenix once again, here to bring you glad tidings of icky gayness and Rick Santorum. It's getting hard out there for a bigot, it...

God-Fearing Gay-Curing iPhone App Destroyed By Homosexual Radicals

Well, well, well, you say, look who's rolling up into the Wonkette like he never left!  That is right, it is your Reporter of the Homosexual Menace, who has been frankly quite busy lately with his full-time gig at...

HomoCon Attendees’ Nipples Still Hard From Ann Coulter’s Anti-Gay Slurs

When GOProud, the only American group catering to the feelings of wingnut butt goblins, announced that they were going to have a big "HomoCon" party this past weekend, the Internet said "whatever" and went back to fantasizing about Justin...

Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist

Your Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals is back bearing good news, or as they like to call it in church, "a new gospel": All of the world's lesbians have been fully repented for! This happened last week, in Sacramento, at...

Ken Mehlman’s Official Gay Coming-Out Party Happening Now!

Rumors about former RNC chair Ken Mehlman's Complete Gayness have been swirling around for years and years.  Mike Rogers outed him several years back, as part of his campaign to rid the political world of homosexuals who cynically use...

Ann Coulter to Blame for Gayest Wingnut Slapfight Ever

Did everybody hear about the big shame-party that the homosexual conservatives are throwing in New York City for Ann Coulter?  If this news missed you, worry not, for there likely will be tickets available until several weeks after the...

Everyone Boycotting Everything For Gayness and Jesus Purposes

ACTION ALERT! You may not be aware that there are products and services you are supposed to be boycotting right now, so your Wonkette reporter of homosexuals is here to save the day! Things used to be...

Jewish ‘Ex-Gay’ Group JONAH Pioneers ‘Take Off Your Pants, Touch Yourself’ Method of De-Gayification

Do you find yourself to be "gay and Jewish," but wish you could shake the "gay" part? Well, then just remove your pants, stand in front of this mirror and stroke yourself for me, and you'll be the...

Selfless Drag Queen Teaches Republican Politicians Valuable Lesson About Honesty

This is the spirit of America right here: A drag queen named "Sherry Vine," who had been busying herself up to this point doing parodies of Lady GaGa videos, answered the call of a weeping nation and decided to...

Catholic Priest Sex Scandal Mysteriously Does Not Involve Child Molestation

This is unbelievable: What kind of a Catholic priest ARE you if your sex scandals are just a bunch of lame missionary gay butt sex? You'd better spice it up with a drug ring or something ... oh, larceny?...

Rev. Lou Engle and His Three-Story-Tall Homosexual Jesus Giant

Hello, I am your new Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals, and what they are thrusting upon society, or what is being thrusteth upon them. Sometimes I will post a round-up of what is going on that you might...