We kind of like the young Alaskan who mistakenly knocked up Alex Rodriguez, which is why it’s so difficult to watch Pat Buchanan uttering this wild-eyed suggestion to drown him, in the crick. Buchanan is such a racist against the descendants of gold miners. [Media Matters]

It’s been such a fun week for the South Carolina GOP, with all the comedy about gorillas and aspirins! But now it must come to an end because the humorless nancies of the Far Left have demanded a more sincere apology from Rusty DePass, the Republican operative who explained his crack about “Michelle Obama’s ancestor” by pointing out that she believed in evolution or something. MORE »

There are doubtless a billion YouTubes out there already about the half-dozen loons who stood outside David Letterman’s studio yesterday and complained about how “he rapes children with his mouth,” but this one looked good to us. You might laugh, but stop and think a minute: did they succeed in getting Letterman fired or not? Exactly. [Daily Intel]

How many daughters does Sarah Palin have? Like fourteen? Well, David Letterman made a CRUDE REMARK about one of them, apparently intending to refer to the oldest one ( “Bridgeport”) but inadvertently referring to the middle one ( “Jester”). And voila just like that a harmless “gals is always gettin’ pregnant” joke turned into a “isn’t it hilarious when 14-year-olds get raped by baseball stars” joke, so he had to apologize for that. Ugh. Everybody just needs to wash out their minds with soap — Ivory soap, the soap of virgins. [Political Ticker]

Here is a clip of what one flustered CNN anchor calls “two guys pretending to console each other” after yesterday’s carnage on Wall Street. (SHHH DON’T TELL ANYONE IT IS SOME SORT OF HOWARD STERN PRANK.) After the jump, Hurricane Ike comes to town … in a bear suit. MORE »

Why does Barack Obama hate the nation’s hard-working comedians, satirists and cartoonists? That’s the important question teevee-industry reporter Bill Carter is asking today, in a New York Times piece complaining that nobody can make fun of Hopey because of hope, change, and racial transcendence. Yet the rednecks and racists are free to peck out their ALL CAPS emails and blog comments about how Barack Hussein Osama and his wife Angela Davis the Black Terrorist will turn America into some unimaginable place where black people aren’t slaves. MORE »

Readers, what do you have against this exotic creature known as the “booble head”? Why do you take his and the Lord’s name in vain? One concerned Wonkette visitor wants to know why you are such crazed haters that you would patronize a Web site that is basically Lucifer’s inferno, only with swear words. MORE »

The DC Metro ran this ad on a bobbleheaded Pope riding the Metro to a big crazy Papal Mass at Nationals Stadium, and the Washington Archdiocese was like, Hey that is not funny, you are talking about the leader of our religion there, and he would never advise riding the DC Metro, furthermore he is not wearing the right Pope-hat. MORE »

THAT’S SEXIST: The Washington Post is super sorry for running that funny column last week by that one lady about how the ladies are swooning for Handsome Barack Obama. Washington Post “Ombudsman” Deborah Powell writes: “But my umpteen years of experience have taught me to be wary of using humor, satire or irony about gender, race or religion.” Yes, we noticed that. [Washington Post]

LADIES ANGRY AT OTHER LADIES: How many feminists does it take to write a pathetically sincere Huffington Post column about how feminists are not going to take this whole “you have to vote for Hillary because she’s a lady” pressure from the Clintons? The answer is, of course, “That’s not funny!” (Also, the answer is “two,” as in “it took two feminists to write this shit.”) [Huffington Post]