Tag Archives: pt stop hitting yourself

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And Then There Was That Other Time Baby-beater Adrian Peterson Gave His Son ‘A Whopping’

How does this keep accidentally happening accidentally by accident?
For a guy who “never intended to harm his son and deeply regrets the unintentional injury,” Minnesota Vikings sportsball player guy Adrian Peterson sure has some poor dumb unintentional luck. It seems beating up his various four-year-old sons and causing serious injury somehow just keeps happening to poor unfortunate Peterson. Read more on And Then There Was That Other Time Baby-beater Adrian Peterson Gave His Son ‘A Whopping’…
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House GOP Makes A Whoopsie On Obamacare Because Math Is Hard

Is there anything better than watching the House GOP flail around and repeatedly smack its own face as it tries to murder Obamacare? Oh no there is not. Yesterday the House Energy and Commerce Committee met and they had all these cool talking points about how no one was ever going to pay for Obamacare and then the sun would go supernova and we’d all be sucked into a black hole, but the actual factual insurers taking Obamacare monies had a different story to tell. Oh man, the Republicans were so mad. Read more on House GOP Makes A Whoopsie On Obamacare Because Math Is Hard…
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Bristol Palin Pretty Sure Pro-Choice People Are Murdering Pro-Life People, Or Something

Do you ever feel like maybe Bristol Palin and her mom, Moose, are projecting a little bit? Here, for instance, is “Bristol’s” latest bloog post, about how she enjoys the Bible and choosing life, and how pro-choice people are constantly “spewing violence” toward pro-life folks. Like, they are probably murdering pro-life people right there in their church! Oh. Wait. Read more on Bristol Palin Pretty Sure Pro-Choice People Are Murdering Pro-Life People, Or Something…
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Barack Obama Thinks Giving Back Part of His Salary Will Shut Up the Screeching Howler Monkeys

Barack Obama, the president of these here United States, has given back five percent of his salary in solidarity with the most tragic victims the world has ever known: children what didn’t get to go on their White House tours. So that’s … nice? We guess? But if anybody in the administration thinks that will make Sean Hannity and Ghost Andrew Breitbart stop hitting them, they probably caught brain-eating syphilis from the Stupidest Man on the Internet, Jim Hoft. Read more on Barack Obama Thinks Giving Back Part of His Salary Will Shut Up the Screeching Howler Monkeys…
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PSA: Get Your Own Patriotic Protection Apparatus, Courtesy of the Asheville Tea Party

In the wake of the massacre of children at Sandy Hook Elementary (as well as the alarming violent trend in its aftermath), you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Hey, I really need a gun.” Or you already exercise your rights to the fullest, and you’re thinking, “Hey, I really need more guns.” Either way, you’re sick of soft lawmakers who aren’t willing to address the issue in a meaningful way – ok, so some politicians are finally suggesting we arm our schoolteachers, but you’re an American, damnit, and you need to be equipped directly and immediately. Luckily, if you live in the Asheville, North Carolina area, the Asheville Tea Party has you covered. Read more on PSA: Get Your Own Patriotic Protection Apparatus, Courtesy of the Asheville Tea Party…
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Fox’s Dana Perino Knows How to Reduce Domestic Violence

In the wake of that football player shooting his ¬†girlfriend and also an entire human history of widespread violence against women,Fox’s Dana Perino has an innovative solution ¬†to end the abuse! Did you know that probably a majority of the time, women who are beaten consciously make a decision to be with the right nut at the right time in the right Applebee’s parking lot? Read more on Fox’s Dana Perino Knows How to Reduce Domestic Violence…