If it means destroying the Democratic Party and letting John McCain blow up the entire universe, then that’s what Wonkette’s loyal, steadfast advertisers will do, because they understand destiny: MORE »

Wonkette’s high-class advertisers would never do a trashy photo shoot for US Weekly, because they’re from a new hopeful generation.

• American Apparel
• Mini
• Unscrew America
• Uwishunu.com

Want to meet Wonkette’s elite readership in the fancy hotel cocktail lounge so the security guard keeps quiet? Just click here for all the steamy details.

Thanks to our very discreet advertisers for sending over that $4,300 by wire transfer, and pretending we were high class when we were really just high.

• American Apparel
• Kenneth Cole
• Mini
• New York Times Travel
• Unscrew America
• Uwishunu.com

Interested in getting a 3 a.m. phone call from our madam? Click here to reach Wonkette’s big-spending readers.

When the phone rings in Texas or Ohio at 3 a.m., Wonkette’s sponsors will answer in a way that sounds very “can do” and serious, even if it’s just their drunk uncle calling to talk about this waitress he saw at Hooters. This week we thank:

• Kenneth Cole
• Mini
• New York Times Travel
• Unscrew America
• Uwishunu.com

Interested in reaching our over-educated, money-spewing readers? Click here for advertising details!

We are the sponsors we’ve been waiting for. No, actually, these fine businesses are the actual sponsors. Yes They Can! MORE »

The presumptive frontrunners all thank Wonkette’s wonderful sponsors, who have never shied away from writing a letter to the FCC in our favor: MORE »

Thanks to our sponsors this week for neither supporting Chicago slumlords nor sitting on the board of Walmart. MORE »

Thanks to our sponsors this week for predicting a Bill Richardson loss in New Hampshire. MORE »

Thanks to our sponsors this week for sticking with us, snark or snark free. MORE »

Thanks to our sponsors this week for sticking around Friday afternoon instead of being lame and going home and not clicking on our amazing articles HINT HINT. MORE »

Thanks to our sponsors this week for spending 12 years in college. MORE »