The most fearsome paramilitary organization in the country, the AARP, has seen a precipitous decline in membership since they declared that maybe our nation’s health care system needed a tweak or two. Blasphemy! Between 50,000 and 60,000 members have quit the AARP in disgust since July 1. MORE »

Yay is everybody ready for the most rip-roaring good time ever at a town hall since a mob of outraged yokels stole George Washington’s wooden teeth and chased him off the premises clad only in his skivvies and the 18th-century version of a women’s brassiere (two monkey skulls held together with catgut and lignum vitae)? That’s what happens when you mess with New Hampshire, the forgotten Appalachia of the American Northeast. MORE »

Little-known fact about this revolutionary new healthcare scheme for all Americans: it will force you to have your genitals remade into opposite-looking genitals. But the procedure will be “free,” sort of, just like those abortions you’ll be enjoying on demand. MORE »

Oh sure he is an angry spittle-flecked chicken and all, but this doesn’t mean Chris Matthews is always wrong, for example this morning when he yelled at Joe and Mika for being pussyfooting sellouts on the healthcare issue. Joe’s all, “But I am concerned about costs,” and Chris does not actually filibuster that much (!), just keeps saying “Well do you want working class people to have healthcare or not?” and Mika is just so ANGRY that nobody will let her speak. (Which it’s true is pretty goddamn rude.) [Morning Joe]

Sorry, Denby, but your boyfriend Ted Kennedy has written the most awful piece of proposed legislation since Mitch McConnell suggested ending state funding for robotic goat-dildoes back in the Gingrich Revolution. What is so terrible about Kennedy’s healthcare proposal? The Congressional Budget Office NO LIKEY. MORE »