Tag: pt sexytime

What Kind Of ‘Foreplay’ Is John Boehner Looking For?

John Boehner, the weepy, drunky Speaker of the House who quite honestly would be your Wonkette's favorite person in the world if he were a weepy drunky Dem instead of a scaredy little buttboy for Congress's teabags (can you...

Strippers Score Hot Legal Victory Over Terrible Rhino

Here at Wonkette, we take our goal of bringing you Very Serious Legal News very seriously. Whether it is politicians getting busted for the sexytime, politicians getting busted for the sexytime, or politicians getting busted for the...

Nation’s Sexiest Supervisor in Meth-Fueled Sex-Tape Sexytime

Do you see that lady? She is Nadia Lockyer, Alameda County, California, supervisor. Do you see that man? That is her husband, California state Treasurer Bill Lockyer. We know, right? So you could maybe understand why she has been...

Delirious DC Weather Reporter Just Wants His ’15 Inches of Fun’

It was so cold out on the National Mall last night, we saw a squirrel chewing off his nuts to warm his mouth with the spray of blood. Hey-o. Here is a video clip: View more news videos at: http://www.nbcwashington.com/video.

Wonkette’s Don’t Teabag On Me Shirt Is Famous At Rally

Hooray for this person, in her stylish "Don't Teabag On Me" tea-shirt. For some reason this is on the Huffington Post. Also, which Wonkette readers did this elaborate routine?

Wonkette Halloween Party Going About As Expected

The Wonkette copy desk alerts us that rumors on the Twitter suggest the Wonkette Halloween Nightwhore Party is going about as you'd expect. It is still going on, apparently! Many have died, for freedom. If you've got terrible "twit-pix"...

The Night Marilyn Monroe Sang ‘Happy Birthday’ To JFK

It was 48 years ago today that Marilyn Monroe was literally sewn into a see-through gown and carried out to the stage of Madison Square Garden to serenade President John F. Kennedy for his birthday. LIFE photographer Bill Ray...

POLITICO, Jonas Brothers To Get Gay-Married?

Oh ho ho! We won't ask for details. What are the details, though?? Did the Jonas Brothers get access to Mike Allen's top secret masturbatorium and underground network of slave-operated Sugar Caves?

Victory Party To-Nite, Obama Bringing Limo Full of Nurses/Hookers & Blow

The Wonkette news-room is On Assignment, with Jim Newell and Liz Glover on Capitol Hill just cold getting drunk and taking videos and photographs. We will post these once we have them. Meanwhile, the House is about to vote...

California Hardcore Anti-Gay Rights GOP State Senator Caught… (Finish Yourself)

California State Sen. Roy Ashburn, a major family values, anti-gay Republican father of four, also likes to FUCK MEN IN THE ASS. He was pulled over and given a DUI the other night while returning from a Sacramento gay...

BILL CLINTON SAVES LADIES FROM NORTH KOREA: Uhh, hooray! In a "private mission" rife with secret diplomatic motives and back-door conversations with the U.S. government, Bill Clinton hopped on a jetplane to North Korea, talked up Kim Jong Il...

David Brooks Remembers That One Night, When Some GOP Senator Kept Grabbing His Thigh

Here is our old op-ed friend David Brooks, who has turned a lovely shade of Holiday Orange, talking about the sexy night when some old Republican senator was just putting the moves on anybody within old-man groping distance ......

Website That Obviously Exists Does Exist

*Cracks knuckles* TIME FOR THE POST OF THE CENTU-- eh, nevermind, too mean. Just thought you all should be aware that the Proverbial Website has been discovered. Right now it's mostly just a few... dudes... but down the road,...

JOHN 'NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2' ENSIGN ADMITS SEX AFFAIR: Jesus, so much to post... this idiot, Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada, has admitted to having a sex affair with a female campaign staffer, in 2007 and 2008....

Everyone In DC To Die Of Pig Flu, Too

Here's Joe Biden this morning telling us all that we're going to die if we travel in confined spaces (2:35 in). Hooray! And better yet, the swine flu has finally "come home" to our nation's capital, Washington, after some...

Chuck Grassley Jokes About Having Sex With Kent Conrad’s Wife, Who Enjoyed It

The Senate, for those unfamiliar with the august body, is sort of like the US version of the House of Lords; and like the House of Lords it is populated with harelipped dauphins who make ribald jokes with each...