Person for whom there are no more nicknames Michele Bachmann is teaming up with the #1 asshole in Congress, Iowa’s Steve King, to throw “a big party” on the National Mall this Thursday against health care reform, the worst idea since 9/11 and, before that, the Holocaust. Also on the “worst guest list you can imagine” guest list are Betsy McCaughey, Jon Voight, and Mark Levin of National Review. As best we can interpret, the “idea” is for wingnuts nationwide to travel to Washington, get loaded on free kegs of cat piss, and then go yell at every member of Congress about freedom and liberty. What a steal! MORE »

This young man from Louisiana calls himself “Hurricane Chris.” The Internet tells us that he is famous among children for a rap song called “Halle Berry (She’s Fine),” the lyrics of which praise the actress’ Oscar-winning turn in the film Monster’s Ball. Recently he put on a concert for the Louisiana legislature. Hmm. [Political Derby]

MOOOOOM, CAN… CAN MY IRANIAN DIPLOMATIC EQUIVALENT SPEND THE NIGHT, PLEEEEASE?: “In a new overture to Iran, the Obama administration has authorized U.S. embassies around the world to invite Iranian officials to Independence Day parties they host on or around July 4th. A State Department cable sent to all U.S. embassies and consulates late last week said that U.S. diplomats could ask their Iranian counterparts to attend the festivities, which generally feature speeches about American values, fireworks, and, of course, hot dogs and hamburgers.” Slip ‘n’ Slide? Super Soaker proxy war? SPARKLERS? Don’t get cheap, embassies. This is Iran. Pressure. [AP/TPM]

Thanks Erick! August 1, hmm… ah, nevermind, that’s when our programs are on. But if any Wonkette readers would like to partake in RedState Rumspringa 2009, you can “show your commitment to attend by locking in” for a small price. [RedState]

SEXY NEW WINGNUTS!: The readers of the Huffington Post have selected this young man, the 27-year-old Aaron Schock of Peoria, Illinois, as the “hottest freshman” in Congress this year. Sorry ladies, he’s a Republican! His prize will be 45 minutes alone with Arianna in the “Printing Presses Through the Centuries” section of the Newseum. [HuffPo]

This guy, Obama. He’s arranged to host a sexy beer party at the White House tonight, presumably after the House votes on his famously porky abortion-loving moneybomb, The Stimulus Package. Leaders of both chambers of Congress, and of both parties, have been invited. So the House Republicans, who will probably all vote against this bill, should probably pre-game with grain alcohol on the limo ride down Pennsylvania Avenue because it will be awwwwwkwaaaaaard. MORE »

As you all have read various times on this blog, Wonkette, we hosted an Inaugural Ball Friday to commemorate the first president, Barack Obama. Hundreds of people showed up just in time for the bathroom to break completely. Liz Glover even showed up to her party, eventually! No one was killed, but hey, we can’t have ALL the excitement. Now let’s check out some sexytime photos for you losers who didn’t fly in for this one night or were too cold to leave your houses. MORE »

More details have emerged from Barack Obama’s haughty War Dinner at George Will’s chateau last night in the rich Maryland suburbs (isn’t that area reserved for the rich Democrats, while the rich Republicans have McLean, Virginia all to themselves? Something to consider! Or not!) The early pool report mentioned that Bill Kristol and David Brooks were there, representing the New York Times tokenista/National Greatness contingent, but who else? Well, bald money crow Larry Kudlow for one! We know this because he blabbed all about this private dinner, to the media reporters. MORE »

ALL AMERICANS MUST ATTEND INAUGURATION! “Don’t have money? Don’t worry, God will provide money! Don’t have a place to stay? God will provide that, too. If God didn’t want you to come to Washington D.C. and party on January 20, would God have made Barack Obama your president?” [AOL Political Machine]

Starting tomorrow, a bunch of leaders from the loser party will meet in the spicy gay Mexican outpost of Miami, Florida, for the most important event of the year: the Republican Governors Association’s 2008 Annual Conference (.PDF). Yay! They will supposedly discuss the future of the party, but since there is no future, it will just be five or ten potential 2012 candidates (including one S. Palin!) forging alliances to determine which will lose to Ralph Nader in four years. But! There are many delightful events on the conference schedule, so let’s see what the cool kids will be doing. MORE »

Here is a very special TO-DO with all the bars in DC and New York (and Arizona and Bangkok) that will be hosting Big Election Night Parties. (More U.S. and Global parties are here!) Go sake o’bombing and see the Yes We Can-Can! dancers because who knew there are so many alcohol-Obama hybrid puns that we can believe in? Also, what’s a party without celebrities? Here we have some gal who used to be on American Idol and star of MTV’s The Hills Jeffrey Rosen. MORE »