pt sellouts
Jeb Bush Gives Up, Endorses Mitt Romney
Grass-fed Florida alligator Jeb Bush, the man who supposedly can’t run for president because of his last name but whose endorsement and support the party appears to deem critical, has given up looking for a White Knight to endorse and will just pretend to like Mitt Romney instead. He has made his endorsement today, half-assedly, [...]
Naked Scott Brown To Campaign For John McCain!
A certain nude senator from the state of Taxachusetts wowed the Tea Party Nation with his non-Martha-Coakleyness, which was enough to get him elected, but ever since then he has been SELLING OUT. Exhibit A: his outrageous vote for the jobs bill, which might someday result in actual employment for the lamers who currently spend [...]
Al Franken Now Beholden To Republican Special Interests
The newly installed stooge/senator from Minnesota, veteran circus performer Al Franken, had to wait, what, eight months to assume office? And during that time he frittered away many an hour in court, wasting the People’s Money on the frivolous lawsuit that was eventually decided in his favor. Norm Coleman warned him from the very beginning [...]
Newt Gingrich Joins Traitorous Band Of Republican Moderates
This National Council for a New America, what do they do exactly besides hold coffee klatsches in Alexandria and inflame the ire of conservative voters? Who knows, but they’ve sucked Newt Gingrich into their little borg, which means they probably have spare wives and free donuts on hand. [The Fix]
Dana Perino Joins Mark Penn’s Firm
Former Bush spokesmodels who do not know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was, finding work with reptilian Cheetos-addicted statisticians: it’s a Microtrend! Dana Perino recently joined this elite demographic when she was hired on at Mark Penn’s PR outfit to “communicate” things for “clients,” who include Lucifer and the reanimated corpse of Kenneth Lay. [Wall [...]
Jindal Caves, Denies Fat Cat Legislators Their Precious Raise
Rather than risk the wrath of the all-powerful Fourniers, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal vetoed a bill to double the salaries of state legislators. As a result, the state will have literally hundreds more dollars to spend on ball-withering chemicals and maps of the planet Earth showing Adam and Eve riding dinosaurs in Spain. [Times-Picayune]
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by Sara K. Smith
INTERN RILEY GOES LEGIT: Look, he’s writing for the esteemed Internet publication Matt Taibbi’s Still So Mad At Goldman Sachs. His beat: college and whoring, two topics upon which he is a National Authority. Check it out! [True/Slant: The Diploma Mill]