Tag: pt sellouts

Jeb Bush Gives Up, Endorses Mitt Romney

Grass-fed Florida alligator Jeb Bush, the man who supposedly can't run for president because of his last name but whose endorsement and support the party appears to deem critical, has given up looking for a White Knight to endorse...

Naked Scott Brown To Campaign For John McCain!

A certain nude senator from the state of Taxachusetts wowed the Tea Party Nation with his non-Martha-Coakleyness, which was enough to get him elected, but ever since then he has been SELLING OUT. Exhibit A: his outrageous vote for...

INTERN RILEY GOES LEGIT: Look, he's writing for the esteemed Internet publication Matt Taibbi's Still So Mad At Goldman Sachs. His beat: college and whoring, two topics upon which he is a National Authority. Check it out!

Al Franken Now Beholden To Republican Special Interests

The newly installed stooge/senator from Minnesota, veteran circus performer Al Franken, had to wait, what, eight months to assume office? And during that time he frittered away many an hour in court, wasting the People's Money on the frivolous...

Liveblogging President Obama’s ‘Why I Am Not Shutting Down Guantanamo’ Speech

If there's two things our president loves, it's detention camps and torture. So, obviously, he just used the whole "I will shut down that terrible den of Cuban shame" line to get into office, knowing that once he got...

Newt Gingrich Joins Traitorous Band Of Republican Moderates

This National Council for a New America, what do they do exactly besides hold coffee klatsches in Alexandria and inflame the ire of conservative voters? Who knows, but they've sucked Newt Gingrich into their little borg, which means they...

Dana Perino Joins Mark Penn’s Firm

Former Bush spokesmodels who do not know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was, finding work with reptilian Cheetos-addicted statisticians: it's a Microtrend! Dana Perino recently joined this elite demographic when she was hired on at Mark Penn's PR outfit...

Jill Zuckman Flees Dying Newspaper Biz For Cushy Government Job

You know what is weird? When the journalists who have been objectively reporting your newses start taking jobs with the new president, and you begin to wonder if maybe they were lying to you all the time with their...

Netroots Terribly Disappointed That Barack Obama Is Not A Communist

Dagnabbit we were assured in no uncertain terms that Barack Obama was an unrepentant Marxist who would "spread the wealth around" and socialize medicine, plus other valuable American industries such as porn and sports teams. Everybody was going to...

A Children’s Treasury of Wingnut Responses To Powell Endorsing Obama

Everybody expected Colin Powell to endorse Barack Obama today, on the teevee, and guess what? Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama! Considering Powell's professional and political service, it's maybe not so surprising that he'd prefer the sane, thoughtful Obama to...

Jindal Caves, Denies Fat Cat Legislators Their Precious Raise

Rather than risk the wrath of the all-powerful Fourniers, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal vetoed a bill to double the salaries of state legislators. As a result, the state will have literally hundreds more dollars to spend on ball-withering chemicals...