pt rumors on the internets
Americans are fat and poor, mostly because of those damn muslins and their evil mosques and kor-annes and prayer carpeting. [Matt Yglesias] The White House built a ramp in honor of the 20th anniversary of Disabled Americans, and also because Joe Biden kept falling down the stairs. [Washington Examiner] Bastion of Tolerance Bill O’Reilly loves [...]
The entire Western Hemisphere is unemployed but surprise surprise, the U.S. Senate is too busy playing grab-ass with hott celebs to even feign interest. [The Caucus] Matt published super-private emails sent to him by Jonathan Strong, of Daily Caller JournoList muckraking fame. And now everyone knows Jonathan Strong’s secret phone number, so dial those digits [...]
Put on your PUMAs everybody, because Hillary Clinton is running for President! She made her official announcement over the weekend in the traditional style of a female, via her coiffure (which means “hairdo” in Arabic.) [Fox Nation] Lindsay Graham loves partial-birth abortions so much, he legally forced them on all children, by voting for Elena [...]
Future President of America Newt Gingrich is hosting his very own Beer Summit so the NAACP and the Tea Party can finally make amends and work together to impeach that evil, evil black man. [The Hill: Twitter Room] The Daily Caller has acquired KeithOlbermann.com, because Tucker Carlson is a shrewd businessman and wants to be [...]
Some IDF soldiers did a funny dance while “on patrol” (trying to find flotillas to murder). This lighthearted music video makes everything better; it heals all wounds, big and small. [Telegraph] The Episcopal Church is angry at the U.S. Senate for saying derogatory things about deceased terrorist Thurgood Marshall, who happens to be an Episcopal [...]
Elana Kagan is “okay” as far as Harvard lesbians go, but most Americans would rather have an empathetic Supreme Court Justice, someone who knows deep down inside that ripping bong should be legal. [Matt Yglesias] Get totally pumped for RedState Gathering 2010, because this year it will be held in Austin, Texas — “rubbing in [...]
Missouri is the Alamo/Gulf of Tonkin/Concord Bridge for Obamacare repeal. One of those things, whichever makes the most sense and makes Missouri sound the coolest. [RedState] Conservative legislators are not interested in providing free meals to malnourished children, because Jesus would have already made these children un-hungry if it was actually worth the effort. [Matt [...]
Famous Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is already in prison, but now he’s in trouble with the feds for basically embezzling a bunch of money to pay for yoga lessons and summer camp or whatever. [TPM Muckraker] A terrorist journalist tried to go GOTCHA on BP, until a brave rent-a-cop stopped him because of his terrorism. [...]
A policeman punched a teen-aged girl directly in the face — something new for your police brutality YouTube Playlist. [Hit & Run] Nikki Haley overflows with the spirit of Jesus. Then there is evil Gresham Barrett, who is the anti-Christ and moonlights as an abortion clinic. [RedState] Alan Dershowitz warned Jan Schakowsky what would happen [...]
