Tag Archives: pt real america

  real america

Walmart Strike Means No More Cedar Cheese or Those Cakes We Like

Today is a sad day for lovers of cedar cheese and those cakes we like because of the Walmart strike. The Walmart strike has, of course, been covered at length in the Labor section of your local newspaper so you are surely familiar with the details, except HA HA, just kidding! You probably don’t have a local newspaper anymore, and the liberal media doesn’t concern itself with trifling issues like “labor,” and if you are reading Wonkette you are probably not a Real American so you probably have not noticed that your local Walmart is maybe closed. (Yes, you have a local Walmart even though you don’t have a local newspaper.) Read more on Walmart Strike Means No More Cedar Cheese or Those Cakes We Like…
  real america

Real Americans: It’s Those Other People Taking Government Handouts Who Are The Problem

What are the latte-drinking liberals at NPR up to these days? Oh, just driving around in Real America trying to find out how Real Americans feel about the election. What are Real Americans thinking? What are their concerns? What do they want in a candidate? This is shocking but apparently Real Americans are thinking that America is turning into a “socialistic” paradise and are concerned that too many people are taking “handouts” so they will vote for Romney because he is going to decrease the size of government in vague and nonspecific ways. Also, it should be noted that  the “government programs” in which Real Americans are themselves enrolled are Different from “handouts” and thus not like socialism at all! See, the real problem is that so many Other People are living off the taxes of Real Americans and not working, or alternatively, acting like rational economic actors and discovering that their unemployment benefits pay more than the jobs available to them and are thus disinterested in looking for work. Read more on Real Americans: It’s Those Other People Taking Government Handouts Who Are The Problem…
  real america

Secessionist Mule-Raping Georgia Governor Candidate Would Also Kill Own Son, For Liberty

Georgia gubernatorial candidate Neal Horsley, a.k.a. “The One,” wants to secede from America because of the liberals. This charming fellow made headlines a few years ago when he got into an argument with Alan Colmes, who simply couldn’t understand why Horsley would fuck the shit out of mules. (“Welcome to domestic life on the farm… If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.”) And now, in an interview with Raw Story Dylan Otto Krider, Horsley says he would kill his son in a secessionist rebellion, because hey, WAR IS HELL (and also he almost killed him once before in a dumb argument, ha). Read more on Secessionist Mule-Raping Georgia Governor Candidate Would Also Kill Own Son, For Liberty…
  real america

Kentucky Machine Gun Partyers Have Mixed Feelings About ‘Nazis’

Intrepid blog reporter David Weigel of the Washington Independent is so intent on getting himself murdered that he traveled all the way to Kentucky over the weekend for something called the “Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot.” You must check out all of his photos, here, but we simply want to note the mixed feelings these fellows have toward Nazis. Basically they love the Nazis, because they are Neo-Nazis, but they also hate the Nazis because Obama is a Nazi. Read more on Kentucky Machine Gun Partyers Have Mixed Feelings About ‘Nazis’…