Tag Archives: pt public service announcements

  public service announcements

Congress Proposes To Legalize Robot Drone Assaults On Cell Phone Users

Congress seems to feel that the record number 82% of Americans who hate their guts is still Not Enough, so the House is proposing a sneaky little update to the ancient Communications Act of 1934 that would finally allow the Satanic cavalcade of political campaigns and action committees to launch their ritual election season ear-rape attacks on millions of mobile phone users with incessant demands for cash/help/sex. Currently the wicked lizard political solicitors are still limited to robo-calling the dwindling reserves of American land line numbers that sane people long ago abandoned specifically to avoid this kind of annoying bullshit. But not for long! Read more on Congress Proposes To Legalize Robot Drone Assaults On Cell Phone Users…
  public service announcements

Happy St. Paddy’s Day, Don’t Go to Jail

If you are currently sloppy drunk from kegs and eggs and planning on driving over to America’s Puke Fountain for Wonkette’s photo contest, here’s a tip: don’t. Embittered police, who don’t “have a problem with people celebrating their Irish heritage,” are really proving it by setting up drunk driving checkpoints all over creation. But don’t put down the beer just yet! SoberRide is providing free cabs for anyone that wants one, till 4AM tonight. Read more on Happy St. Paddy’s Day, Don’t Go to Jail…
  public service announcements

Limbaugh Orders Republicans To Leave Bobby Jindal Alone

We have an important and URGENT message for our many conservative readers who must not say *anything to anyone* until they’ve read this: your leader, Rush Limbaugh, has decreed that you are not allowed to criticize Bobby Jindal’s speech last night, got it? You do not want to be the next David Brooks or Amanda Carpenter or Fox News panel member, each of whom have already been EATED by Limbaugh for saying that Jindal sucked last night. Read more on Limbaugh Orders Republicans To Leave Bobby Jindal Alone…
  public service announcements

Here’s One for the Ladies, and the Drunks

Despite the fact that Math Porn purveyor Nate Silver has revoked beer’s hard-earned recession-proof status, we venture to guess there’s a few of us who may still find utility in “What’s a Girl to Do When It’s Time to Put Down the Drink?” — a one-woman show by Tara Handron about alcoholic women in various stages of breakdown and recovery. Read more on Here’s One for the Ladies, and the Drunks…
  public service announcements

COUGAR ATTACKING AND MURDERING EVERYONE, IN MARYLAND

Do you live in the Washington D.C. metro area? If so, you are probably going to die soon because there is a COUGAR on the prowl. According to Wonkette “Terp” operative “Chris,” security officials at University of Maryland at College Park are warning students that the dreadful monster, this cougar, has been seen hunting students for sustenance. And now it is coming for you and your terrible family! Read more on COUGAR ATTACKING AND MURDERING EVERYONE, IN MARYLAND…