This is going to go on forever — and eventually, it will involve the female participants wrestling in a vat of Taco Bell X-treme ketchup or whatever. Hooray! Now, lest you believe this is somehow “trivial” or “exactly what happens in much of America,” we want to remind you that this woman, Sarah Palin, intends to become President, somehow, and then she will install Trig as “Prince ‘o Peace,” and he will rule the world for 666 years, and then he will nuke it. He is made of nukes, Trig is.

For the last few days, the folks at the Atlantic magazine have been hyping a piece from senior editor Joshua Green about the (not so) mysterious inner workings of Hillary Clinton’s terrible campaign staff, claiming Green had procured 200(!) internal e-mails and memos. Such teases! This is sort of like waving crack in front of John Edwards’ crack baby, but then saying “you have to wait for the September issue of crack to come out in three days.” But it’s out now, and we read it, and there’s not much you haven’t already known for months or couldn’t have predicted. It has its moments, however. Wait until you read about Mark Penn’s “FUN” invisible people button for the website! MORE »

Arkansas, our greatest state, has produced our nation’s favorite fat politicians (Mike Huckabee and Bill Clinton) while not really being part of Western Civilization. Proof? Mayor James Valley, “of Helena-West Helena,” just shut down his town’s animal shelter and set all the dogs loose in St. Francis National Forest. MORE »

NATION OF CRETINS: “A man who heckled Laura and Jenna Bush as they were leaving a discussion about their children’s book was arrested after he allegedly punched a girl who was in a wheelchair.” [TransWorldNews]

As long as you’re on John McCain’s side — you know, as long as you’re either a journalist or a lobbyist — the old man will charm you with stories of his dirty deeds, and he’ll crudely insult the president’s daughter, and eat your donuts. But for the people who actually have to work with the elderly opportunist in, say, the Senate, John McCain is a furious stupid monster. Let’s review the latest “McCain’s a dangerous old psychopath” story, from Sunday’s Washington Post. MORE »

Nothing says “Family” like marrying your cousin, getting your pedophile priest friend to annul it, marrying somebody else, carrying on public affairs with various floozies while your shamed wife is in the New York mayor’s mansion, holding a press conference to announce you’re divorcing your wife and mother of your children, enraging your kids to the point that they never speak to you again, and then marrying some nutty whore and running for the president of terrorism. MORE »

Gruesome biological freak and Minister of Fear Mongering Michael Chertoff has a new message today that contradicts his earlier message this week, about The Terror coming to kill us all because Terror, like the Beach Boys, loves summertime. MORE »