NOVAK IS BACK! After a busy summer of running over a bum and being diagnosed with a brain tumor, Robert Novak quit his regular column gig. But now he’s back with an “occasional” thing saying Vinegar Joe Lieberman would doom the McCain ticket. Don’t listen, Walnuts! Pick Holy Joe! [Bob Novak]

• LOOK, HE’S STILL ALIVE OK?: From the intrepid local news team at ABC 7 News: “The pedestrian who was struck by prominent Washington columnist and commentator Robert Novak is in worse shape than first thought, a hospital source tells ABC 7 News. The victim, a 66-year-old man, appeared somewhat incoherent, said the source who had seen the victim. The man appeared to have casts on his neck and back. The victim was X-rayed and a surgical team plans to evaluate him, the source said.” The police should take note of the severity here and strike Novak with a harsher penalty. They gave him a $50 ticket earlier? Make it $65. NO — GIVE HIM A $90 TICKET. [WJLA]

Here is 800-year-old columnist Bob Novak, the Last Scion of Bilbo Baggins, talking to the local teevee news after hitting some guy with his car and then speeding away, only to be captured. Isn’t it HMM COINCIDENTAL that a Politico reporter happened to be walking by the incident? Here’s the “new truth:” Politico and Bob Novak thought that this was Ron Paul, this pedestrian, and they were trying to kill him for the second day in a row. HE DOES NOT HAVE MUCH LONGER. DR PAUL ES MARTYR. [YouTube via Think Progress]

Already known as the worst, meanest driver in Washington, this morning Robert Novak was caught by witnesses driving into a pedestrian and speeding away from the crime scene. Novak was racing down 18th Street through the K St. NW intersection when he hit a much younger man, a 66 year old who was using the crosswalk and had a green walk signal. MORE »

* Note to self: personifying evil is more lucrative than previously thought. [Fishbowl DC] MORE »

This week’s collection of celebrity sightings is a little disappointing; we’ve seen better around here. Are you all too busy enjoying college basketball, warm weather, and cherry blossoms, leaving you without time to keep your editors informed of the comings and goings of famous people? Please don’t forget to email us with your sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (as well as the name of the spotted celeb).

After the jump: Patti LaBelle, in a purple fur; John King and Gheorghe Muresan, participating in the March Madness; and a bunch of senators on planes.

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Today, in case you forgot — we almost did — is Valentine’s Day. In keeping with the holiday, the New York Times offers us this interesting meditation on “the profoundly bizarre activity of kissing.” Here’s an excerpt: MORE »

Ask and you shall receive! We issued an impassioned, Sally Struthers-esque plea for D.C. celebrity sightings; and you, our beloved readers, came through big-time. In fact, we harvested such a rich trove of items from you that we’ll be sharing the results with you in multiple installments. MORE »