• CHUCK TODD TO DO MOST THINGS FOR NBC NEWS: Whoa hey it’s press release day at your Wonkette! “NBC News announced today that Chuck Todd has been named Chief White House correspondent,” NBC News announced in a press release. He will remain NBC News Political Director and will also become a regular contributor to Meet The Press, with David Gregory, who used to be Chief White House correspondent. Chuck Todd, everyone! [Sigh]. We would pay millions of dollars just to watch Chuck Todd describe Lake County, Indiana precinct returns at midnight one more time.

OK NOW IT’S TIME TO START HATING NATE SILVER: Remember how Nate Silver was working on a two-book deal? Well GOOD GOD: “New intelligence says Mr. Silver’s advance is in the neighborhood of $700,000, give or take a few grand. Now Mr. Silver just has to choose which imprint he likes best, a process that is unlikely to be resolved before next week.” Nate Silver is the only person in American history to realize the American Dream. [NY Observer]

Oh Nate Silver, how we long for your embrace! Spin us a tale of numbers and regressions, just like in the old days? Like that time you Internet-fought the Real Clear Politics guy when he wasn’t accurately weighing reputable polls… yes… just yes. Whoa what’s this, you’re writing a book. Two books! WANT. NOW. Please include sexy nude numbers pix. The numbers 5 and 8, 69ing. We don’t read for the words. [NY Observer]

One of your favorite pretend secret boyfriends, NBC News “Math Fraud” Chuck Todd, thinks that — get this — the DEMOCRAT, the nominee of the party that always loses presidential elections due to horrible gayness, will win the current presidential election. Oh, “okay.” He lists Florida, Indiana, Montana, Missouri, Nevada, North Carolina, North Dakota and Ohio as the only toss-up states, and Obama can lose them all and still come out with 286 electoral votes. Do you think that Chuck Todd knows that Barack Obama is Indonesian? [First Read]