TWO YEARS OF TORTURE: Here is your editor’s election-apocalypse cover story in your new LA CityBeat. Pick it up from a street rack or bookstore, if you can, because it’s TOO LONG for web-readin’, you betcha. Yes, it’s the issue with the terrifying Obama-Unicorn Garden of Eden cover artwork. [LA CityBeat]

Whoa, jesus, New York Times, what are you people trying to say here, with this terrifying photograph of Barack Obama shaking his head with dignity as the world burns? Did McCain get the nuke suitcase? Oh noes! [New York Times via Wonkette commenter The NeoSkeptic]