Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople elitist Democrats and their drunken wives and rent boys adult children wreak havoc on the icy semen-slick suburban gentrified urban streets.” MORE »

Former president Bill Clinton gathered together a bunch of his dude friends and celebrated his 63rd birthday in Las Vegas eating steaks cut from the loins of actual angels and topped with a port wine reduction. Guests included rum-soaked popinjay Terry McAuliffe and Steve Bing, that guy who impregnated Liz Hurley once. Clinton’s “real” birthday is August 19. [The Caucus]

Your Wonkette recently had the pleasure of interviewing Center for American Progress speechwriter and “nouveau literature author” Grant Ginder, who’s just had his first novel, This Is How It Starts, published by Simon and Schuster. It’s in book stores everywhere! But what is it about? The novel follows young Taylor Mark, who moves to Washington D.C. shortly after college and discovers how terrible it is, maybe. Then he runs around and whines like a bitch for a while and even goes to one very important Late Night Shots party. But it’s funny! Roll Call is raving! After the jump, the text our our very embarrassing Gchat conversation with Grant about Mike Allen and the Politico, as well as pictures from last week’s book release party in a Georgetown bar that is literally owned by Ralph Lauren Polo. MORE »

Will Sarah Palin appear at a fancy fundraiser tonight for the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee? No way in hell, unless she changes her mind! First she was invited to headline at the event, and she said yes, but then she said no because she was so “overexposed,” so events organizers booked Newt Gingrich instead because Newt Frigging Gingrich is a less “controversial” speaker. But the drama was just beginning! MORE »

On Monday night your two Wonkette associate editors attended a Dinner Party thrown by the digest The Week, called The Week Opinion Awards, and we’re only posting about it now because hey, shut up. It was somewhat “A-List,” meaning (a) why the poo were we invited and (b) why the poo did we go? Because after only four seconds at the opening cocktail party, your male associate editor was begging Sara to leave. But two full glasses of gin over the next four seconds changed that attitude into “LET’S GO FUCK WITH LINDSEY GRAHAM” and we stayed for the dinner after all. MORE »

So sad! President Obama invited over a bunch of congressmen and senators to talk about being fiscally responsible, and some of them showed up, but a lot of them didn’t. Even some breakout session panelists and moderators failed to appear because who knows, maybe they had something better to do than fix the economy??? MORE »

Ronald Reagan is still alive and breathing and administrating, if nowhere but in the minds of desperate conservatives. Even young conservatives have Reagan Creationism Syndrome, and will be exhibiting the symptoms of it en masse at Reaganpalooza, a celebration of the “the man, the legend” at the Hawk and Dove on Saturday, February 28th. MORE »

Sonar’s Taxlo Dance Party is on this Friday, featuring one hell of a lineup: music from Atlanta-based DJ-of-the-moment, Treasure Fingers and a live performance from Blaqstarr, who collaborates with the likes of Diplo and MIA. MORE »

Finding new music is hard & sucky work, so let other people do it for you. The Mix Institute, a DC music exchange group, throws parties every couple months to bring people together to share music. Founders Alex Westerfield and Drew Gardner, two twenty-something music lovers, used to attend similar exchange parties in college, and thought, “Hey, why not do this in DC?” MORE »

Well, third time’s a charm! Finally, one of you people out of the several hundred MILLION worldwide who claim to be Obama supporters held an actual “talk about our nation’s ruined economy” party, complete with a creepy guest appearance by Tim Kaine’s eyebrow. MORE »

So the absolute most worthless people on this rotten planet are liberals, filthy rat-sucking liberals, particularly limousine liberals from liberal Hollywood and their east coast enablers, the Non-Profit Outreach Directors. They get together for these Red Bull-fueled art parties on either coast a couple of times a year to literally masturbate to themselves. They have NO FOOD at their parties because they are all gay, and anorexic. We went to one of these parties last night, and just you wait for this blush of libtardation: “The MoveOn.org, SEIU, Obey Giant Manifest Hope DC Party.” It was actually pretty cool and we don’t mean any of the nasty things we just wrote. (But seriously, no food.) Sexy picture time! MORE »