pt our flourishing economy
Massive Economic Depression Pushed Back Another Month
America is… back?? If the standard is that job creation barely surpassed population growth for the last month on record, four years into the great Economic Unpleasantness, then you betcha. We’re rich again! Money! Pie! War! The economy added a smashing 163,000 nonfarm payroll jobs in July, while June’s figure was revised down to a [...]
Report: America Even Better At Making Its People Poor Than It Thought
While America nervously fidgets with excitement waiting to hear all the disgusting sexytime harassment details from a new Herman Cain accuser (the press conference hasn’t happened yet, but we promise, uh, it will be gross?), let’s scan some of the crappy “other news” clogging up the Internet and see… oh, hm, what have we here? [...]
Record 81% of Americans Hate America
A shocking new Gallup poll proves that 81% of Americans — an all-time record — are against the American Government, while 82% are against Congress specifically. And 49% of Americans believe the U.S. Government is “an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens.” But to read POLITICO, you’d think we’re just in [...]
Stocks Collapse Worldwide On News About Meg Whitman
Unloved corporate failure Meg Whitman was last seen insisting that she should be governor of California because goddammit, she paid $141 million to be governor of California. And now the former eBay executive has re-appeared on the public stage, with news that she will be hired to run the ruined tech company Hewlett Packard. The [...]
Republican Thugs Warn Ben Bernanke Not To Try To Fix Economy
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol while everyone yells at him about the size and type of his water pistol. [...]
America’s Poor Beg Congress: ‘Please Forgive Our Debt, Sirs!’
The “new thing” in America is being desperately poor, until an audience of Tea Party sociopaths maniacally cheers your death outside the razor-wire fence of the hospital. But some of these uppity poors are so desperate that they’ve politely begged the rich monsters of Congress to forgive their many debts. HR 365 was introduced today, [...]
Just In Time For U.S. Default, U.S. Recession Gets Much Worse
While the Republicans try to force a default of the American Nation with such tactics as “scholarship grants are for communists,” the Democrats are engaged in an exciting game of catch-up. “Oh,” Obama might say, looking thoughtfully at his hands, “Pell Grants are communist? Well then, I offer a compromise of shutting down Medicare and [...]
America About To Lose Its Fancy Credit Card
Because of many reasons including “the nation cannot even agree to print more money,” the United States is in danger of losing its fancy AAA credit rating from Moody’s, the investing service that decides what countries and businesses have good credit. (Moody’s failed to predict the housing collapse and current financial meltdown, so who knows [...]
Nearly a Third of American Mortgages ‘Underwater’
The economic recovery continues to be a complete fiction, like the Harry Potter books but without all the fun sex magick. Unemployment is officially back to 9%, with real unemployment at 22%. Energy and food costs keep rising as jobless benefits run out and wages are stagnant for the lucky ducks who still earn a [...]
Cost of Living Soars As Income, Assets & Government Services All Decline
Despite consistent claims of low inflation during this endless Great Recession, Americans are paying dramatically more for gasoline, electricity, heat and food — everybody notices the $4 gas, but the jump in food prices to a 36-year record is harder to see because it’s spread out across your grocery bills. And now the official inflation [...]
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